101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be
something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump?
A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
(They all stare, bemused.)
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through
what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.
It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Time Lapse]
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school,
I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,
and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of...?
Chandler: That's right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it,
and it turns out it's my mother,
which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat,
grabbed my small intestine,
pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Joey: Ohh.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura!
No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
(They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got
from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,
"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren."
was what? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now.
You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay?
I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!
(He extends his hand hopefully.)
Monica: Rachel?!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God!
I just went to your building and you weren't there
and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here
and you are, you are!
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody,
this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler,
and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Ross: Hi.
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens.
He sits back down defeated again.
A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits
and the others expect her to explain.)
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.
I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,
and I was looking at this gravy boat.
This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-
(to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?-
I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:
how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean,
I always knew looked familiar, but...
Anyway, I just had to get out of there,
and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this,
and who am I doing this for?'.
(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go,
and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,
but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
---
雖然之前的文章已經刪了
不過說了提早開始 就提早吧
下星期 仍照原訂時間 台灣時間4/30以後
開始第二部份的討論 進度預計是part 01之後到第一段破口 中間只有一幕
（抱歉我沒開影片來看 原來101的片頭曲真的在片頭啊...）
--
(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be
something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump?
A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
(They all stare, bemused.)
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through
what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.
It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Time Lapse]
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school,
I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria,
and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of...?
Chandler: That's right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it,
and it turns out it's my mother,
which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat,
grabbed my small intestine,
pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Joey: Ohh.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura!
No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...
(They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got
from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,
"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren."
was what? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now.
You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay?
I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!
(He extends his hand hopefully.)
Monica: Rachel?!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God!
I just went to your building and you weren't there
and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here
and you are, you are!
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody,
this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler,
and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Ross: Hi.
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens.
He sits back down defeated again.
A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits
and the others expect her to explain.)
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.
I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,
and I was looking at this gravy boat.
This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-
(to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?-
I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:
how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean,
I always knew looked familiar, but...
Anyway, I just had to get out of there,
and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this,
and who am I doing this for?'.
(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go,
and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,
but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
---
雖然之前的文章已經刪了
不過說了提早開始 就提早吧
下星期 仍照原訂時間 台灣時間4/30以後
開始第二部份的討論 進度預計是part 01之後到第一段破口 中間只有一幕
（抱歉我沒開影片來看 原來101的片頭曲真的在片頭啊...）
--
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