105-part 03 - 六人行

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment,
Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend.
His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob
and then take Angela back for himself.]

Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.

Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother.
He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job.
Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor,
but Bob is...

Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.

Joey: What?

Monica: Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!

Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here.
If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.

Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.

Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake.
I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?

[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]

Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming,
it's just gonna be me and Rachel.

Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper,
are you sure you've thought this thing through?

Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.

Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you?
This is a date. You're going on a date.

Ross: Nuh-uh.

Chandler: Yuh-huh.

Ross: So what're you saying here?
I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?

Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear.
This is basically the first time
she's gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty?

Ross: (sheepish) No.

Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?

Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles?
What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy,
you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear.
Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.

Chandler: There you go.

[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there,
meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]

Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?

Joey: Yep.

Monica: Which?

Joey: Which what?

Monica: You've never met Bob, have you?

Joey: No, but he's...

Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...

(Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.)

Angela: Hey, Joey.

Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there,
both ready to break up with their significant others.]

Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?

Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.

Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car
and run over some puppies.

Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.

(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)

Chandler: Here we go.

Phoebe: Ok, have a good break-up.

Chandler: Hey, Janice.

Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me.
I had the most supremely awful day.

Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso
and a latte over here, please?

Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know,
the one with the little vegetables.
Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so,
I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...
(looks through her bags)... and I got you,
I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...

(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony.
She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves.
Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)

Chandler: What?

Janice: What?

Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?

Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)

Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.

Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured,
you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle,
or you can wear Rocky and Rocky, or, you can mix and match,
moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.

Chandler: That's great.

(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)

Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso.
Can I get you another latte?

Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.

(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is,
and is asking her about the break-up.)

Chandler: That's it?

Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.

Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.

Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.



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