[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Carol: Anytime you're ready.
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach)
Ok, where am I talking to, here?
I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer
a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this.
Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine.
You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow
all over the park.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down?
I mean, that was just mean.
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside,
juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Monica: No I don't.
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Joey: That one will.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major,
you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology.
And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it,
you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street,
get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey!
(to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Carol: I did.
Ross: Does it always, uh--?
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you.
When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Susan: I felt it!
Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.
--
Carol: Anytime you're ready.
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach)
Ok, where am I talking to, here?
I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer
a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this.
Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine.
You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow
all over the park.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down?
I mean, that was just mean.
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside,
juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Monica: No I don't.
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Joey: That one will.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major,
you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology.
And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it,
you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street,
get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey!
(to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Carol: I did.
Ross: Does it always, uh--?
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you.
When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Susan: I felt it!
Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.
--
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