33集:際遇造成觀點不同 - 中視
By Jessica
at 2009-01-06T08:11
at 2009-01-06T08:11
Table of Contents
這一集最有衝突的部分,應該就是毅源和朱磊在雜貨店前的爭論。對於如何
幫助茜茜,我贊同朱磊想方設法的積極,也贊同毅源對茜茜的立場支持--但且
不論毅源可能吃醋&自卑的情緒浮動,當我在聽朱磊和毅源分別說話時,老實
說,讓我不知不覺扣起分數甚至失去耐心的人,是朱磊。
朱磊「除了開源,更要節流」的看法是往解決問題的路子走。確實,張媽必
須振作,娟娟如果可以有個工作,茜的負擔就不會那麼大。這些解決的「癥結」
是對的,但仔細想想,指出癥結和提出具體有效方法之間,有著相當大的距離。
當朱磊在述說這些癥結時,僅提出解決後的美好遠景,卻並沒有針對張媽和娟娟
的狀況來提出方法,也很明顯他不清楚張家的實際狀況。
但我們這些觀眾卻是知道的。如果仔細從現實面來考量,自強一村的鄰居
們,以及張奶或者娟娟,難道不曾幫助張媽嗎?張媽第二次遭到喪夫的打擊,這
次還加上了她對自己的愧疚,而她採取的方式不是「有一天會走出陰霾」的「沉
浸」,而是完全消極的「逃避」,她逃避的不是張叔的死,而正是他們想讓她面
對的「責任」,看孫媽和張媽對談時就可以知道,張媽完全不避談她的無力和難
受,但這和要讓她挑起擔子完全是兩回事。這已經不是受到打擊的異變,而僅是
證明了一件事:張媽的個性,本來就挑不起責任。也許時機到了她會醒悟,但這
遠不是旁人操之過急就能期待的結果。
茜與娟通電話時,她的回應也證明了這件事:「就讓她打吧,免得她又胡思
亂想。」一個人是否願意振作,在於有沒有意願伸手抓住旁人給予支持,如果不
願抓住,那些手只會讓她更加逃避和厭煩而已。對於現在的張媽來說,她唯一的
生活目標就是逃避:逃避她的錯誤和無能,然後繼續無能下去;但只有這份逃
避,才能讓她繼續苟活。這樣的心態,之前盈盈偷竊、兩個幼子的問題都未能喚
醒她做母親的責任,又豈是外人(還是晚輩)的幾句開導和說理就能改變的呢?
如何使行動不便的娟娟有個工作更是個問題。我們、一美和毅源都知道,娟
娟嘗試用打毛衣來賺錢,娟娟很努力,成果卻證明了並不理想。換言之,娟娟不
是沒想過要「增加收入」,但事實證明有其困難,還要一美那樣拚命地拜託,甚
至毅源還瞞著大家自己買下娟娟的毛衣,讓一美向娟娟說謊,才讓她有信心繼續
下去。這些實現上的困難都確實發生過,但朱磊都不知道不清楚,僅是提出問題
的癥結而已。至少在我看來,朱磊雖然熱心可嘉,但這卻是「外人中的外人」的
樂觀,某方面來說是一種旁觀者清,但就實踐而言,卻是昧於現實的。
毅源在一旁聽著他們的討論時,也不自覺流露出那種「這種想法太天真」的
神情,尤其在拍雄說要朱媽故意輸給張媽的時候。但不管是朱磊還是拍雄,他們
的天真都是一樣的:他們只想到要「幫助張家」,卻忘了顧及人那份「不想輸給
命運」的自尊心。茜去pub 唱歌是誰逼的嗎?是她自己的選擇。朱磊和眾人想要
幫助張家的原始動機,基本上就是否絕了茜的選擇和努力,和提醒了她的無能
(撐不了重擔所以才得去那種地方唱歌)和錯誤。當然去那樣的地方唱歌,身為
朋友會有所擔心,是理所當然的事,但這份擔心如果懷著「妳這樣做是在墮落」
的認知(拍雄、小東和朱磊都有幾分那樣的意識),再加上幫助的施力點不對的
話,會變成同情、甚至輕蔑和施捨。而對於自尊心強又多心的茜來說,連一美的
探望安慰都不願接受了,這種幫助只會造成傷害吧。娟娟亦然,她打毛衣請一美
代賣就是想要獨立自助,看起來也只有一美知道。如果全村知道了,應該會樂意
「幫助」她吧。但這不是娟娟所願意的。
借毅源的撞球理論來說:「就這樣突然地冒出來,把他們借力使力的球搬
開,這樣反而會害了他們。」張家的事根本上只能張家承擔,關心、照顧朋友的
界線,不能變成插手、介入,甚至「幫他們承擔」。毀掉人的自尊心和不想輸的
那股毅力,卻無法在合理的狀況下給予「一個月有兩萬塊生活費」的實際幫助,
這種援手真的是太理想性了。毅源雖然有點情緒衝動,以至於語氣不若以往的平
穩,不過他還是點出了朱磊方法不可行的理由:態度問題。試想,如果對方的援
手,是起於「妳這樣做不對,妳家人也有問題」的想法,忙還沒幫上,大概就會
先被拒絕、關上心門了吧。即使是旁觀者的毅源,都能在將心比心的同時覺得被
貶抑,何況是當事人的茜茜?(嘆)朱磊很好心、很聰明也很理智,但他確實沒
有把人心的複雜考慮進去,即使癥結是對的,方法是對的,但方向錯誤,這種可
能也僅是一種自我滿足的理想藍圖,忙還沒幫上,就先失去這個朋友的信任;那
麼,就連最基本的安慰和支持都做不到了。
---
那個,我,我本來是朱磊派的說……orz|||
雖然從這裡可以更清楚地看到毅源和朱磊(以及一美)不足的地方,
也並不是壞事啦。(嘆)
--
一隻鳥飛過去了,天空還在。就是這樣。
我懷疑,但,就是這樣了。
有時候,眼睛只肯告訴我這麼多。
陳斐雯 貓蚤札(其三)
--
Tags:
中視
All Comments
By Annie
at 2009-01-07T02:39
at 2009-01-07T02:39
By Enid
at 2009-01-09T21:13
at 2009-01-09T21:13
By Tracy
at 2009-01-14T12:59
at 2009-01-14T12:59
By Ida
at 2009-01-19T02:10
at 2009-01-19T02:10
By Ula
at 2009-01-22T20:51
at 2009-01-22T20:51
By Iris
at 2009-01-26T09:53
at 2009-01-26T09:53
By Anthony
at 2009-01-27T20:50
at 2009-01-27T20:50
By Emily
at 2009-01-31T22:59
at 2009-01-31T22:59
By Lucy
at 2009-02-05T19:19
at 2009-02-05T19:19
By Eartha
at 2009-02-09T00:22
at 2009-02-09T00:22
By Enid
at 2009-02-12T08:12
at 2009-02-12T08:12
By Liam
at 2009-02-15T16:04
at 2009-02-15T16:04
By Rachel
at 2009-02-15T19:04
at 2009-02-15T19:04
By Linda
at 2009-02-18T15:41
at 2009-02-18T15:41
By Una
at 2009-02-22T11:52
at 2009-02-22T11:52
By Agatha
at 2009-02-23T08:01
at 2009-02-23T08:01
By Aaliyah
at 2009-02-26T17:21
at 2009-02-26T17:21
By Selena
at 2009-02-28T11:16
at 2009-02-28T11:16
By John
at 2009-03-02T08:47
at 2009-03-02T08:47
By Catherine
at 2009-03-05T10:58
at 2009-03-05T10:58
By Ivy
at 2009-03-08T05:48
at 2009-03-08T05:48
By Belly
at 2009-03-10T02:34
at 2009-03-10T02:34
By Suhail Hany
at 2009-03-13T02:58
at 2009-03-13T02:58
By Edith
at 2009-03-16T15:19
at 2009-03-16T15:19
By Faithe
at 2009-03-19T07:19
at 2009-03-19T07:19
By Oliver
at 2009-03-24T05:48
at 2009-03-24T05:48
By Madame
at 2009-03-28T01:45
at 2009-03-28T01:45
By Hedwig
at 2009-03-31T21:12
at 2009-03-31T21:12
By Cara
at 2009-04-04T09:56
at 2009-04-04T09:56
By Faithe
at 2009-04-05T13:16
at 2009-04-05T13:16
By Anthony
at 2009-04-06T13:30
at 2009-04-06T13:30
By Kumar
at 2009-04-10T02:43
at 2009-04-10T02:43
By Liam
at 2009-04-12T22:47
at 2009-04-12T22:47
By Cara
at 2009-04-13T11:35
at 2009-04-13T11:35
By Delia
at 2009-04-18T05:20
at 2009-04-18T05:20
By Franklin
at 2009-04-20T20:25
at 2009-04-20T20:25
By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2009-04-24T19:13
at 2009-04-24T19:13
By Kumar
at 2009-04-25T13:10
at 2009-04-25T13:10
By Michael
at 2009-04-25T18:56
at 2009-04-25T18:56
By Hardy
at 2009-04-27T23:51
at 2009-04-27T23:51
By Puput
at 2009-04-30T03:03
at 2009-04-30T03:03
By Belly
at 2009-05-03T02:33
at 2009-05-03T02:33
By Rebecca
at 2009-05-03T21:44
at 2009-05-03T21:44
By Audriana
at 2009-05-04T07:01
at 2009-05-04T07:01
By Genevieve
at 2009-05-07T21:51
at 2009-05-07T21:51
By Madame
at 2009-05-08T03:47
at 2009-05-08T03:47
By Olivia
at 2009-05-09T03:36
at 2009-05-09T03:36
By Kelly
at 2009-05-09T22:19
at 2009-05-09T22:19
By Liam
at 2009-05-13T05:44
at 2009-05-13T05:44
By Joe
at 2009-05-17T02:57
at 2009-05-17T02:57
By Una
at 2009-05-21T06:02
at 2009-05-21T06:02
By Gary
at 2009-05-25T16:17
at 2009-05-25T16:17
By Lily
at 2009-05-26T23:49
at 2009-05-26T23:49
By David
at 2009-05-31T20:22
at 2009-05-31T20:22
By Hardy
at 2009-06-04T13:01
at 2009-06-04T13:01
By Dinah
at 2009-06-05T09:36
at 2009-06-05T09:36
By Franklin
at 2009-06-07T16:37
at 2009-06-07T16:37
By Emily
at 2009-06-11T01:09
at 2009-06-11T01:09
By Rae
at 2009-06-13T01:34
at 2009-06-13T01:34
By Yedda
at 2009-06-14T10:43
at 2009-06-14T10:43
By Gary
at 2009-06-18T15:50
at 2009-06-18T15:50
By Cara
at 2009-06-19T11:50
at 2009-06-19T11:50
By Cara
at 2009-06-19T17:59
at 2009-06-19T17:59
Related Posts
一美還是贏了
By Agatha
at 2009-01-06T02:56
at 2009-01-06T02:56
朱磊和一元有得拼!!!
By Daniel
at 2009-01-06T02:34
at 2009-01-06T02:34
今日之最(33集)~
By Sierra Rose
at 2009-01-06T02:23
at 2009-01-06T02:23
幾摳 vs 朱磊
By Charlie
at 2009-01-06T02:08
at 2009-01-06T02:08
幾摳 vs 朱磊
By Gilbert
at 2009-01-06T01:53
at 2009-01-06T01:53