Mad TV 小短劇 - 實習醫生葛蕾

※ 引述《samchiu (閒祭秋)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《daisy7781 (囧囧有神)》之銘言：
: : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JImyMGNQSs&feature=related
: : 笑到肚子痛
我找到了劇本，同時把之前的翻譯也更新了
還是不懂 Addie 的 Mc情史

原文如下
http://www.planetmadtv.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9737

(Grey's Antamoy logo is shown, cuts to a room with Montgomery,
Stevens and Bailey with a patient whose foaming at the mouth)

Montgomery: Your fiance's been dead for three days,
you should get back into the dating scene

Stevens: I don't need dating tips from someone
who thinks it's OK to cheat on McDreamy with McSteamy

Montgomery: Cheating on McDreamy with McSteamy is OK
because I was moving up the McGeemy ladder,
it starts with McQueeny then McSweeny
followed my McDreamy then McSteamy,
the brass ring is McSupremey,
who, rumor has it, is French and lives in a castle

(Yang enters)

Yang: Is there an operation going on here, can I help,
please, please, I beg of you, I'm the best right, right

(Grey enters and knocks Yang over)

Grey: Are you guys talking about relationships,
please, please, let me talk about mine, please, I beg of you

(O'Malley enters and knocks Grey over)

O'Malley: Are you guys in the middle of an interesting story line,
please let me be in it, my character slept with a bone doctor

(Bailey enters and knocks O'Malley over)

Bailey: What the heck are all my interns doin in here,
will you stop talking about yourselves and start helping people
and why am I in here,
my husband has a brain tumor and I just had a baby
and why am I talking so loud ?

Montgomery: Oh my god, it's a patient,
I've been so focused on relationships that
I've forgotten how to practice medicine.
We're gonna have to call in a specialist

Yang: Who

Montgomery: I know, McMeany

(House logo appears, House walks out of elevator and into hospital room,
knocking Bailey over)

House: Can anyone here write a Vicadin perscription
for the most confident, well adjusted,
drug addicted doctor in the world

Montgomery: Dr House, we have a woman here
and we don't know what's wrong with her

House: There's nothing I can do for that woman (points cane at Yang)

Yang: No, not me, the woman on the bed

House: She's pregnant, the baby comes out that hole, goodbye

(House and Montgomery are in hallway)

Montgomery: House, you just can't leave that woman

House: Listen nurse

Montgomery: I'm a doctor

House: You're not a doctor, you're a whore

Montgomery: Sheesh, that wasn't witty at all, that was just flat out mean

House: Sorry, when your wise crack all day,
some of them are bound to get awat from you

Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall)
Listen to me House, I'm the only doctor in this hospital
who has slept with both McDreamy and McSteamy,
so I know my way around this place,
and there is more going on with that woman than just being pregnant

House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall)
You've been with both McDreamy and McSteamy,
I'm just tying to picture you in betweeny

Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall)
Look, you better go in there and save her,
you disgusting pig, and I have to say "disgusting pig"
because Grey's Anatomy's a show written for women by women

House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall)
I'm trying to tell you, I don't know
what's wrong with your patient,
but I do I've got a huge erection
and I have to say that because House is written
by men for women who like abusive men

(lets go of Montgomery and gropes her breasts)
Looks like someone just grazed your anatomy

Montgomery: Wait, when you go like that, I mean you know, it's not

(cut back to hospital room with both House and Montgomery there,
House writes something on the wall)

House: Alright, the patient has an excess of saliva, any thoughts

Grey: Yes, I think I'm going to take it slow with McDreamy

Montgomery: You should because you don't want to lose McDreamy,
I did by sleeping with McSteamy

Stevans: McSteamy's a jerk, not like my fiance who's a great man,
before I killed him

O'Malley: That was an intersting story line,
my character sleeps with women and then they cry

Burke: (enters) Maybe it's because your a homo

Grey: Hey, don't call him a Homo

Burke: I didn't call him a homo

O'Malley: Yes you did, it's the third time you've called me a homo,
twice on set and once at the Golden Globes

Burke: Not true, see you later, homo

(Burke runs out)

Yang: While you guys were talking, I took out the patient's lung,
I'm the best, right

House: Well you're the best at ruining a pefectly good erection...
wait a minute...excess saliva, removeable lung, pregnant,
this woman has classsic Vinyetta Syndrome,
the only way to save the baby is
to smother the mother with a pillow

Bailey: You can't do that

House: Just watch me, you mushroomed-haired-hobbit
(walks over to patient)
Lack of oxygen will build pressure in the mother's vagina
and the kid should shoot right out,
you, Baby-Voice, get your catchers mit ready

(Grey pulls out a catchers mit)
One, two, three, smother
(smothers patient, baby pops out into catchers mit)
Excellent, now, recesatate the mother

Stevens: We can't, she's dead

House: Hmm, would've worked on my show

Montgomery: I know a show that can save her

(ER logo pops up)

END

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Michael McDonald- Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House)
Nicole Parker- Kate Walsh (Dr. Addison Montgomery)
Arden Myrin- Katherine Heigl (Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens)
Bobby Lee- Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang)
Crista Flanagan- Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey)
Nicole Randall Johnson- Chandra Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey)
Keegan Michael Key- Isaiah Washington (Dr. Preston Burke)
Extra- T.R Knight (George O'Malley)


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