Re: [眼殘] 堀江的學生推銷員... - 相聲

By Susan
at 2010-03-06T00:24

Table of Contents

※ [本文轉錄自 StupidClown 看板]

作者: leeberty (阿圾) 看板: StupidClown
標題: Re: [眼殘] 堀江的學生推銷員...
時間: Fri Mar 5 17:15:05 2010

天阿...我是被追殺了嗎

因為考112，後天考116的關係，很久沒上笨板都沒去看(話說這樣好像大家就知道我年

紀有多大，收義姊計畫要失敗了，比起沒血緣關係的妹妹，沒血緣關係的姐姐比較合我胃

口的說...)

剛剛同學才跟我說她看見我在笨板被通緝了一個禮拜

要我出來接受現實

剛看完推文我也嚇到了(因為隔了一周都還有人今天早上才推聞通緝)

還有....妹控是TZ不是我

以上。

五人合體技的事實，我想我要讓大家失望了。

並沒有甚麼可怕的劇本還是設定，只是很單純的高中時國術社的大家想要去團練，剛好

在集合點有人被男推銷員盯上，那時我是負責搬兵器的。

所以就心血來潮，把傢伙發一發(有刀槍棍劍，還有扑刀，長的有點像關刀縮小版，玩過

三國無雙4的夏侯惇應該都看過)

然後幾個人先過去跟被纏上的人打招呼，順便給兵器說"你的傢伙來了"

其他人就抄好兵器站在詐騙集團後面，一個人去拍拍他肩膀，然後等他回頭跟他打聲招呼

其實也沒甚麼特殊結果...因為我們只有很和善的打招呼，交個朋友而已(騙人的)

但是他們在那個點的人當場集體徹光，好幾天都沒看到就是了....

好像笨點不足，既然大家對我跟老妹的相處有興趣。

就讓我想起寒假時某個晚上的對話，我妹一直說應該來PO笨版，但是我一直很懶，她又

記不得對話，所以就放給它爛了。

不好笑請海涵，那時兄妹倆腦袋不但長了洞，裡面還泡滿阿摩尼亞，到現在我還是不懂

為什麼我的智商忽然降成負號。

總之是在快過年前的某個夜晚，我跟老妹睡在房間裡

(大家別亂想，因為我在外讀書，寒假回去房間讓給回台灣的姑姑一家睡，所以我老爸
架起雙層床給我屈就一下而已，我睡上層)

對話開始

我:欸，寒假過一半了耶

妹:是阿

我:2/14快到了耶

妹:是阿

我:情人節快到了耶

妹:是阿

我:初一也快到了耶

妹:你到底想說甚麼阿!!

我:你不覺得，同一天過兩個節日很有趣嗎?

妹:不會阿，只是很多人會不知道要陪情人還是去找家人親戚A紅包而已

我:所以說阿，你看，是初一，又是情人節，那為什麼不混在一起過初戀節就好了嗎?

妹:那是甚麼鬼阿!!

我:初戀節，紀念第一次戀愛的節日阿

妹:不是這樣混的啦!

我:要跟初戀情人過喔

妹:你會被全國初戀沒結果的傢伙抗議的!

我:那如果我現任的初戀女友，初戀男友卻是別人怎麼辦?

妹:不要吐自己槽好嗎!

我:阿，說到這個阿，情人節送巧克力不是所謂商人的陰謀嗎?

妹:對阿

我:那我們的初戀節是不是也要搞這種東西阿

妹:喔喔，聽起來好像可以大賺一筆

我:對阿，就像聖誕節的圍巾，中秋節的烤肉，端午節的粽子，母親節的康乃馨，還有

清明節的白饅頭跟教師節的套頭麻布袋一樣，都是代表性商品阿

妹:等等!你後面混進奇怪的東西了!怎麼看都很奇怪吧!

我:不是嗎?我記得是傳統阿?

妹:台灣未來主人翁的教育就是被你這種人搞壞的阿!!給我道歉!給我跟全國的教育家道歉!

我:所以說，你覺得初戀節應該要甚麼阿?

妹:不要無視! 還有我想應該是像巧克力那樣，味道或形象有象徵的意味在吧?

我:就像西瓜節送西瓜，還有我們學校辦的一堆那種巧克力傳情阿，琉璃傳情阿，

花語寄情阿，炸蝦傳情之類的對吧?

妹:我是知道你們學校有炸蝦節，但是真的有辦那種東西嘛!?\

我:所以....我想想..........就送.....

皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!皮蛋吧!

妹:這甚麼鬼阿!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我:象徵初戀阿

妹:你的初戀心情到底有多扭曲阿!!

我:皮蛋哪裡不好?晶瑩剔透的蛋白，象徵著初戀的純潔

妹:你初戀感覺黑的好不純潔阿...

我:咬進嘴中澀澀的阿摩尼亞刺鼻味刺激著味蕾，象徵著初戀的激情與青澀

妹:你的激情是阿摩尼亞嗎

我:等到激情淡去後，一股清香飄出來，如同兩人一同過了那青澀的年代，邁入更

圓融的關係中

妹:這聽起來還比較像人話

我:然後最後吃到雖然好吃，但外型像爛泥巴的蛋黃部分，象徵著初戀都沒好結果

妹:不要在初戀節觸人霉頭阿你這白癡!!!!

我:還能振興小雜貨店的生意，向全世界推廣我們的傳統美食，一舉數得，文建會都該搬

給我獎杯了

妹:推廣的了有鬼阿!給我想正常一點的!

我:那隨便...就蘋果派好了~

妹:好...好正常，好不像你阿，不過為什麼是蘋果派?

我:剛剛看到藍藍路廣告，有點餓了

妹:完全沒有邏輯性的理由阿!

我:搞不好當年推出情人節送巧克力傳統的商人也只是忽然想吃巧克力而已阿

妹:可是，至少要有點哽阿，要有個推廣出去的哽

我:梗喔............................那南瓜派好了

妹:不是那個梗!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我:對齁，蘋果的雖然細了點，但也是有

妹:就說不是了!!!

我:阿...那就皮蛋派好了

妹:你到底對皮蛋有多堅持阿!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我:不然混在一起，用參了南瓜的皮，蘋果餡料，烤好之後上面灑滿皮蛋

妹:聽起來好像真的辦的到...

我:可以讓北方來的一個帶著黑黑粗粗長長硬硬，上面還一堆星星的棍子的特級麵點師

讚不絕口喔，順帶一提他的專長是倒立轉圈圈去做桿麵棍就能做到的事情，你認識

這個人嗎?

妹:誰不認識阿!!!!!!!!!!!

我:所以初戀節代表食物就決定是這個了

妹:等等!根本沒初戀節這東西阿!

我:........你現在才想到要吐槽這個阿

妹:算了...睡你的覺啦

我:喔....晚安

妹:晚安

"對了....其實我晚餐時候忽然好想吃皮蛋喔"

"你鋪了那麼久的劇情就是為了在半夜兩點跟我說你想吃皮蛋嗎!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

--

Tags: 相聲

All Comments

By Elvira
at 2010-03-07T05:24

給你個推！！想要這種哥哥XDD

By Kumar
at 2010-03-10T06:18

= =吉本興業歡迎你。

By Kumar
at 2010-03-12T06:16

濃濃的銀魂味

By Kumar
at 2010-03-15T22:27

銀魂XD

By Kumar
at 2010-03-20T13:15

我好像看到銀魂了...

By Selena
at 2010-03-23T09:33

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Erin
at 2010-03-27T19:32

大推XD

By Ida
at 2010-03-31T23:20

XDDDD

By Noah
at 2010-04-05T20:14

會爆我先搶前十推

By George
at 2010-04-07T17:05

說好的皮蛋呢?!

By Kelly
at 2010-04-08T21:02

對話也太銀魂了吧 !!!!!!

By Callum
at 2010-04-11T21:49

吐槽的好徹底阿原PO一定看了銀魂......

By Necoo
at 2010-04-13T23:21

銀魂+1XDDD

By Odelette
at 2010-04-14T08:26

XDDDDDDD

By Gilbert
at 2010-04-17T13:02

趕時間的人實在看不完呀 …

By Kumar
at 2010-04-18T14:04

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Gilbert
at 2010-04-21T04:53

XDDDDDDDD

By Regina
at 2010-04-21T15:09

妹妹有戴眼鏡嗎XD

By Hedy
at 2010-04-23T22:41

真是變態的姐姐

By Sarah
at 2010-04-26T18:50

你們在講相聲喔= ="

By Iris
at 2010-04-28T02:17

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Erin
at 2010-05-02T12:11

強大的嘴砲聊天阿XDDD

By Elizabeth
at 2010-05-04T15:05

可以轉往銀魂版嗎?

By Agatha
at 2010-05-04T18:29

.....我覺得你們應該出道,應該滿有得賺的

By Iris
at 2010-05-07T09:02

新八機XDDD

By Hedy
at 2010-05-08T15:37

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDdddddddd

By Kristin
at 2010-05-13T02:10

銀魂呀~~~~XD

By Delia
at 2010-05-14T14:06

這根本就是銀魂吧！是銀魂吧！你到底有多大叔呀！

By Yedda
at 2010-05-15T20:16

好強大XDDDDD 會爆

By Delia
at 2010-05-18T22:52

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Megan
at 2010-05-19T02:05

XDDDDDDDDDDD

By Hedwig
at 2010-05-20T19:26

請ps男的那一對來演應該不錯...

By Tristan Cohan
at 2010-05-23T03:47

你妹是新八機阿?

By Kelly
at 2010-05-28T01:03

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Blanche
at 2010-05-29T15:21

（舉手）我可以報名當義姐嗎？XD

By Sandy
at 2010-06-01T09:11

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Isabella
at 2010-06-04T11:16

妹妹的吐嘈好精準啊 XDD

By Isla
at 2010-06-06T13:32

根本就是銀魂阿阿阿阿阿阿XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Steve
at 2010-06-09T15:22

轉去銀魂版了XD

By Wallis
at 2010-06-10T18:58

我可以報名當妹妹嗎？當姐姐的話.....可以哦 >////<

By Rosalind
at 2010-06-15T12:51

銀魂版的怎麼d掉了@@?

By Aaliyah
at 2010-06-16T13:46

有種日和+銀魂的感覺XD

By Liam
at 2010-06-19T17:57

因為版規要徵求作者同意才能轉錄..所以要先問@@

By Quanna
at 2010-06-22T21:36

妹妹搞的像新八一樣...

By Elma
at 2010-06-25T11:36

這個吐嘈好有趣XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Audriana
at 2010-06-27T14:00

強者~~~有這種弟弟應該很快樂!!!!

By Quanna
at 2010-07-01T04:28

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Franklin
at 2010-07-02T11:39

妹妹的吐嘈非常精闢....

By Isla
at 2010-07-03T13:21

會爆

By Andrew
at 2010-07-05T02:18

By Xanthe
at 2010-07-06T05:33

這是吐槽模式的新八機(無誤)

By Enid
at 2010-07-10T01:26

好濃的銀魂味啊XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Ursula
at 2010-07-14T18:20

你們一定串通好的!!ˋ口ˊ@

By Necoo
at 2010-07-17T23:28

XDDDDDDDD

By Elizabeth
at 2010-07-22T10:30

你妹是新八機嗎

By Lydia
at 2010-07-25T22:45

好像相聲

By Harry
at 2010-07-30T04:37

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Elvira
at 2010-08-04T03:01

好好笑XDDDDD

By Kristin
at 2010-08-08T18:17

濃濃的銀魂味啊XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Ethan
at 2010-08-11T07:13

一整個就銀魂啊XDDDDDDDD

By Kelly
at 2010-08-13T05:56

這一定是銀魂~蓋章!!

By Zanna
at 2010-08-13T19:00

這個應該不是100%對話重現吧XD 雖然真的很好笑啦

By Bennie
at 2010-08-16T14:40

相聲劇本...

By Jake
at 2010-08-17T08:34

銀魂看太多XDDDDDD

By William
at 2010-08-18T04:35

有笑有推XD

By William
at 2010-08-20T06:40

我也覺得很銀魂! 話說昨晚上課時發現全班同學竟然沒人看過
銀魂...整個很失落又很驚訝 XD 另~其實我沒有特別覺得新八

By Zanna
at 2010-08-22T03:10

靠相當完美的兔曹啊!! 漂亮!

By Elvira
at 2010-08-25T11:55

滿好笑的不錯

By Christine
at 2010-08-30T08:39

根本就是銀魂阿!!拿去投稿!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Audriana
at 2010-09-01T05:35

這根本是銀魂阿XDDDDDDDDDD

By Genevieve
at 2010-09-05T01:14

的專長是吐槽啊!? 來個人解釋下吧! 感覺是大家都互吐啊XD

By Andy
at 2010-09-09T22:34

欸...我每推一次就要被兩個人斷文嗎 XD

By Tom
at 2010-09-13T07:37

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD笑翻

By Mia
at 2010-09-16T05:44

我喜歡超讚的 XD

By Daph Bay
at 2010-09-19T17:15

銀魂味很重阿XDDDDDDDDD

By Tracy
at 2010-09-23T09:27

好好笑好像根本不會出現在現實中的對話XD

By Candice
at 2010-09-24T01:42

C_Chat過來朝聖!!..XD

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2010-09-24T16:03

這是銀魂還是魔法戰騎之類的世界嗎= =

By Robert
at 2010-09-24T20:55

我盡然先在銀魂看到這篇...

By Regina
at 2010-09-27T08:48

銀魂版過來朝聖XD　　　　原po你好我想當你的變態姐姐（咦

By Iris
at 2010-09-30T12:26

銀魂~~~~~~~~

By Lucy
at 2010-10-05T03:09

你講話像妹妹、你妹妹講話像哥哥XDD

By Rebecca
at 2010-10-07T07:40

銀魂版是我轉的@@ 妹妹出現啦XDD

By Jacky
at 2010-10-07T17:52

朝聖！有人要挑戰就可嗎？

By Delia
at 2010-10-07T20:37

邊看邊想到「傳說中的PS男」影片XDDD 我也要報名當妹妹XDDD

By Sarah
at 2010-10-10T17:44

推 XD

By Delia
at 2010-10-15T01:28

推套頭麻布袋阿我教師節要去擺攤賣.....

By Elizabeth
at 2010-10-20T01:22

銀魂板來朝聖xddd

By Doris
at 2010-10-20T14:15

從銀魂板來的你妹妹是新八機XDDDDDDD

By Genevieve
at 2010-10-24T21:56

感覺的出你們言語交流和發話地點有點不搭XDDDDDDD

By Zora
at 2010-10-26T02:29

這是雙口相聲吧= =a

By Ursula
at 2010-10-30T09:26

好好笑阿有這樣幽默的哥哥好棒阿~

By Eden
at 2010-11-03T17:54

有銀魂fu哈哈哈哈

By Hedwig
at 2010-11-03T22:16

MADAO...

By Connor
at 2010-11-08T17:50

大笑但我想到的是日和

By Eden
at 2010-11-13T00:21

太好笑了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Ina
at 2010-11-13T09:08

新八機上身啦

By William
at 2010-11-15T17:43

銀魂推~ >/////<

By Tom
at 2010-11-19T03:28

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Kelly
at 2010-11-21T08:34

不錯耶~ XDD 這種哥哥真有趣 (報名)

By Olga
at 2010-11-25T07:03

真的太好笑了根本就是日和啊

By Isabella
at 2010-11-29T11:15

好專業的吐槽阿

By John
at 2010-11-30T19:01

日和風XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By John
at 2010-12-01T04:29

推日和XD

By Queena
at 2010-12-03T20:43

銀魂啊XDDDDDDD

By Brianna
at 2010-12-05T10:48

真的是銀魂+日和...

By Franklin
at 2010-12-10T06:02

呵呵~銀魂梗~推

By Thomas
at 2010-12-11T03:50

蠻好笑的XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Yedda
at 2010-12-13T04:12

報名當妹妹~

By Freda
at 2010-12-13T06:39

有日和的fu...

By Callum
at 2010-12-15T00:02

圖咧? (誤

By Vanessa
at 2010-12-18T09:20

文筆滿好的...但對話太詳細了，感覺應該是自己有掰些東西
進去吧？

By Emma
at 2010-12-20T14:31

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By David
at 2010-12-23T05:07

有銀魂的FU XDDDD

By John
at 2010-12-27T11:16

難怪我覺得對話很親切~~原來是銀魂XDDDDDDD

By Mia
at 2010-12-28T22:37

這是在相聲嗎？ XDDDDDDDDDDD

By Doris
at 2010-12-31T11:48

哈哈好幽默

By Gary
at 2010-12-31T15:42

爆！！

By Valerie
at 2011-01-02T10:54

我到底在幹嘛阿...

By Lydia
at 2011-01-07T02:43

XDDD

By Skylar Davis
at 2011-01-11T06:31

XDDD...為什麼我哥哥沒辦法這麼有趣~~我要換哥哥(遞~)

By Hamiltion
at 2011-01-14T09:40

銀魂XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Damian
at 2011-01-19T00:53

好棒的日和風XDDDDDD

By Linda
at 2011-01-19T18:34

請問原po是阿銀嗎?? 你是吧!我給你三百元說你是吧!

By Emily
at 2011-01-20T22:26

感覺妹妹回答像血多的賣火材女孩

By Victoria
at 2011-01-21T13:02

日和+新八機!!!!

By Delia
at 2011-01-26T09:44

銀魂到不行XDDDDDDD

By Daph Bay
at 2011-01-27T06:33

=======以下開放報名乾姐姐============================

By Joe
at 2011-01-27T13:22

+1 XD

By Sierra Rose
at 2011-01-27T22:36

兩個淑女?XDD

By Enid
at 2011-01-28T01:44

+1XXD

By Kama
at 2011-01-29T02:33

我可以當你的姐姐嗎??XXD(亂入~~~逃)

By Liam
at 2011-01-30T23:58

我要當乾妹妹/

By Victoria
at 2011-02-01T17:45

- -/

By Joseph
at 2011-02-05T17:18

==========報名截止==============

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2011-02-06T03:45

你這大叔還有叔女妹你們到底是有多愛銀魂呀XDDDDD

By Regina
at 2011-02-06T20:14

銀魂真人版 XDDDDD

By Michael
at 2011-02-09T06:27

~報名義姐+1~~~~~

By Kyle
at 2011-02-10T21:06

鈔銀魂的拉XDDD

By Jacky
at 2011-02-13T12:19

真的好銀魂XD

By Lily
at 2011-02-17T10:48

超銀魂的 = =

By Caitlin
at 2011-02-19T18:51

好銀魂XDDDD

By Tracy
at 2011-02-20T06:54

從銀魂版來朝聖XDDD

By Mason
at 2011-02-23T19:20

這其實是哥哥妹妹版的相聲吧?! XD

By Edward Lewis
at 2011-02-27T23:55

好銀他媽喔XD

By Hardy
at 2011-02-28T04:52

我反而想要這種嘴砲的妹妹......y

By Hamiltion
at 2011-03-01T20:51

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Oliver
at 2011-03-06T07:49

你跟你妹其實是我的腐女友的主角吧

By Zenobia
at 2011-03-10T07:21

看到哥哥字我笑了…那我要一個有趣的弟弟可以嗎XDDD

By Caitlin
at 2011-03-11T23:49

我也有一個沒有血緣的妹妹，咱還滿像的哩

By Emma
at 2011-03-14T12:18

XDD

By Agatha
at 2011-03-19T01:51

好好笑得吐曹 XDDD 我可以當姊姊喔 >////////<

By Genevieve
at 2011-03-23T12:20

By Lucy
at 2011-03-27T07:41

超像相聲的XDD

By Hardy
at 2011-03-29T23:23

蝏繴P覺在附中有聽過= =

By Daniel
at 2011-04-01T09:43

給妹妹的信也太欠揍了吧XDDDD

By Elma
at 2011-04-01T21:45

這根本就是銀魂阿!!!XD

By Elvira
at 2011-04-04T06:56

明明就銀魂

By Hardy
at 2011-04-06T19:59

你是按怎~~

By Dinah
at 2011-04-08T04:58

好銀魂XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Ina
at 2011-04-08T10:37

你 = 阿銀妳妹 = 新八 ....END

By James
at 2011-04-13T08:29

推我才是新世界的神阿!

By Robert
at 2011-04-14T20:06

給妹妹的信真的超屌~~~

By Kristin
at 2011-04-17T03:07

難怪妹妹的吐槽很有日和的fu....XD

By Oliver
at 2011-04-20T19:49

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Dorothy
at 2011-04-24T07:21

雙人對口相聲！

By Susan
at 2011-04-24T17:23

推吐槽XD

By Kumar
at 2011-04-28T23:55

我哈哈了

By Selena
at 2011-05-01T00:32

這種對話要雙方都夠嘴砲才行XD 我跟某些朋友的對話也

By Andy
at 2011-05-02T17:47

有點像這樣抓對時間吐槽的話整段對話就很有笑果

By Enid
at 2011-05-06T19:37

這是銀魂的風格吧?跟中華相聲不太像@@

By Ivy
at 2011-05-11T11:16

日式相聲漫才的感覺

By Mia
at 2011-05-15T19:04

還滿有爆笑紅毯（日本漫才節目）的味道XD

By Gary
at 2011-05-17T04:11

是日式的吐槽的話長又誇張~XD

By Franklin
at 2011-05-21T14:45

XDDD

By Anthony
at 2011-05-21T23:12

有笑有推

Re: [眼殘] 堀江的學生推銷員... - 相聲

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