如果30歲還是處男(略)-可以更好的12集雜感 - 日劇

By Caroline
at 2020-12-25T07:09
at 2020-12-25T07:09
Table of Contents
12集雜感,坦白說我沒有特別失望
卻也想如果哪部份可以如此如此會更好
但櫻桃魔法在這段時間裡給我的溫柔(還有變胖XDD)
再真實溫暖不過
[接下來真的是雜感,順著12集的劇情順序寫的]
黑澤找藤崎商談的那段,可以感覺出幾件事
1.黑澤真的是個儀式感很重的人
2.他很努力的想設計一個最棒的約會
3.對照第11集的慶功宴最後他選擇在家裡吃飯,其實就有考慮到安達在外可能會不自在
4.從始至終,黑澤都在為安達考慮
分手後的耶誕夜前夕,黑澤獨自一人走在回家的路上
表情是失去重要他人的感覺,但又做了一個決定的樣子
耶誕夜當天,安達家已經堆滿垃圾或是隨手擺的漫畫書本
但走去開門時,內心還是小小期待是不是黑澤來接自己?
見到是柘植的表情不是失望(對照原本最初約會的表情)
有點像是被救贖:"啊,是你啊"的放心感
不得不說柘植真的是不錯的朋友
他很瞭解安達需要什麼話才能真正想通
「我就是來聽你講那些有的沒的。」
安達的個性是逃避的,如果可以不說就算了,眼不見為淨就好
但柘植的這句話讓安達還是把話說完
編劇此時帶出
「我們常因為自尊或一時的不好意思,而忘記說出真正的心意。」
「魔法,讓人聽見真正的心聲,但即使沒有魔法,我們可以說出來啊。」
「說到底,你自己怎麼想的呢?」
「你願意拋開自尊,只聽心裡的感受,然後遵循心聲嗎?」
魔法,重要卻也不重要
沒有魔法,你還是你,我還是我,我們喜歡對方的心不是因為魔法
而是你就是那個人
有句老話,當你想要這個東西,全世界會聯合起來幫你
雖然安達覺得幸好周遭的人都跳出來提醒他
但最後做出選擇的還是你啊!
一如過去,兩人關係踏出重要改變的都還是安達
面對感情,他不勇敢卻也無所畏懼
黑澤的耶誕夜,我猜他應該是一個人把約會流程走完
一個人吃飯、一個人上天台看那看不見的煙火
那對醜的要命的鋼筆,黑澤很早就已經決定要在第一次月會時送給安達
知道送不出去但還是帶出門
安達跪在樓頂拿出手機準備撥號的猶豫
像是「我已經放下自尊來了,但你能好好接住我的情嗎?」的憂慮
黑澤的那句呼喚,安達的表情不是第7集時找到對方的那種「太好了」的感覺
(那時的他比較游刃有餘,他知道他的告白黑澤會有好的回應)
安達的表情像是在說「你真的在這裡?煙火取消了你還是來了?」
黑澤則是「你怎麼會來?你為什麼會來呢?安達你看起來沒有想像中的好?」
化為一句「煙火取消了噢。」
安達也一句「我知道。」
黑澤看著安達的表情「對不起,我該不會害你一直掛念著我們的約定?」
看著安達的欲言又止,黑澤決定先說出口
也許是安達的出現讓黑澤有一絲希望,他雖然不知道為什麼安達會出現
但他是不是可以大膽猜測安達有把他說過的話放在心上?
也把他自己放在心上?
安達再度截住黑澤的話「這樣不行。」
黑澤的表情是傷心、猜測與疑惑
安達低下眼說著「離開你是我做的選擇,但我是後悔的;我知道單憑我自己的心情
卻沒有顧慮到你就做出分開或繼續在一起的決定很自私,
我不是個好人,但這樣的人還是想和你在一起」
安達的這段話讓我比較瞭解他在11集糾結的點到底是什麼?
如果沒有魔法,他就不貼心他就不能理解對方他就會不斷誤會對方需求......
他不是被「魔法」塑造的那個人了怎麼辦?
他也以為只有透過魔法讀心,才能瞭解對方
其實真正的瞭解,是在一次一次誤會與溝通中,才建立起的瞭解
黑澤的那微笑,有點苦有點甜,更多的還是
「你沒有變,你始終是我選擇的那個人」的堅定感
安達順從了自己的心
「我喜歡你的心沒有變,一直都沒有變,分開是因為害怕我不夠好
但真的與你分開才發現,那份想與你靠近的心還是那麼熱烈。」
黑澤的那一抱,是對安達最好的回應
雖然安達沒有回抱,但比較他們每一次的擁抱
這個抱讓人有種黑澤好好接住安達急湧而出的情感的感覺
安達的臉幾乎是埋在黑澤的頸窩
安達那聲抽咽在黑澤的「我喜歡你」前,如此的強烈
黑澤的表情是安心的,無法讀心的他卻真切感受到安達那份急切與不安
這份不安只有他能夠回應
「魔法讓我們更靠近,但我喜歡的是你,不是有魔法的你。」
「我喜歡你7年,我知道你是什麼樣的人。」
搭配上第7集那重要的拍拍回憶,即是黑澤的初心沒變
「我的心裡除了你,別人都不要。」
回應了第1集安達的期待「如果有個人喜歡我就好了。」
安達的「嗯」道出「我知道你的喜歡,謝謝你如此喜歡我。」
儀式感很重的黑澤,還是覺得應該有個交往紀念日
那對很醜的筆是他能想到安達願意用也能是定情物的最佳解
(題外話:定情物絕對有比醜筆更好的東西,群組有說領帶夾,我覺得袖扣不也可以?)
黑澤對安達許下的承諾,是黑澤心中最棒的約會中最美的台詞
兩人的眼裡慢慢湧起的淚很美
藤崎跟六角的煙火,不免讚嘆藤崎的體貼與六角的天然呆
「如果有人看見這煙火能幸福,那也很好。」
六角總能在關鍵時刻說出會心一笑的話
黑澤在煙火下牽起安達的手
「原來幸福是與你一起,只要是你就能走下去。」
「牽起你的手,就能一起走下去。」
我喜歡用台灣的「牽手」來理解這個畫面(雖然它是日劇)
「我與我的牽手(khan-chhiu)走下去。」
#安達小日記
日子看似沒有變化
卻在早晨看見你的睡臉聽見你與我道早安
辦公室裡只要拿起(醜)筆就會想起你
一抬眼就能看見你
你其實很調皮,都拿魔法開玩笑
其實我們沒有這麼急著下樓
你可以好好吻我之後再關門啊!
最調皮的是編導啦!!!!!!(可惡)
--
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日劇
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