蝙蝠俠大戰超人 - 電影
By Joe
at 2016-03-26T23:35
at 2016-03-26T23:35
Table of Contents
在我看完之後笑了20分鐘之後
決定就來寫個 「蝙蝠俠大戰超人」 的吐槽文吧
文長慎入,不過看完的應該會心有戚戚焉
就用我和他們三個的對話來寫好了
=======我是防雷線=======
我:那個女的,對,就是你,東方人
路瑟助理:嗯?
我:你看起來很厲害的樣子阿,你不是看到布魯斯偉恩好像在竊取甚麼東西嗎
怎麼沒去跟路瑟報告,或是去阻止他
路瑟助理:因為他跟我說他只是找不到廁所阿!
我內心OS:好傻好天真....
我:蝙蝠俠,你辛苦做好那麼強的武器(戰戢)
你打完就亂丟,這樣對嗎
我還怕那隻被哪個壞人撿走ㄟ
蝙蝠俠:對阿,你沒看到超人問我戰戢在那裏的時候
我跟他說:「我很忙」
就是因為我忘了我丟哪裡了阿!!!
我:......
我:美國總統,那隻毀滅日「看起來」很恐怖沒錯
但是他連一個城市都沒摧毀
你是要發射核彈發射甚麼啦!?
超人第一集,整個城市被他們打到爛掉,你都不知道要發射核彈
今天那隻只不過是跳上了塔,然後叫一下,你就射了
是在射幾點的啦
然後明明超人要送他去外太空不會回來了
你硬是射到那隻毀滅日掉下來,還差點讓超人死在太空
美國總統:怪我囉,我第一集沒射到的這集要射回來
我:......
我:蝙蝠俠你說:「我要把他引去城市裡,因為我的戰戢放在那」
你那甚麼鬼邏輯,你是智障嗎
你是不會開飛機回去拿再回來戰鬥喔
一定要把那麼恐怖的東西從無人島引回城市歐
然後造成那麼大的破壞
如果真要說第一集超人造成的傷亡是無意的
我相信這一集你造成的傷亡你要負全責啦!!
PS. 我才不相信(因為大家都下班了,所以那裏沒有人)的鬼話
美國總統:沒錯,叫蝙蝠俠出來面對
蝙蝠俠:還不是你把他從太空射下來的
我:超人,你女朋友在哪裡出了事,你馬上就可以知道他在哪,然後飛過去救他
你老媽出了事,要等到人家告訴你你才知道......
你該去面壁了
超人:我在棺材裡面壁中......
我:超人,那把戰戢,你撿到了,可以給敏捷技能點最高的神力女超人阿
你沒事要自己去幹嘛啦
不然,你都還有力氣飛
神力女超人都幫你固定了
你是不會用丟的去射毀滅日喔,一定要衝過去死就是了?
超人:都是蝙蝠俠讓我的智商下降了
神力女超人:整條街的智商都被蝙蝠俠拉下了
蝙蝠俠:還不是美國總統把他從太空射下來
美國總統:第一集沒射到的,這集我要射回來
我:對了,還有,蝙蝠俠,你那個面罩最好可以防彈啦
那看起來明明就是面罩,對著你頭開槍開下去
最好沒事啦
蝙蝠俠:因為我是蝙蝠俠!
我:......
我:那你放過路瑟是怎麼回事,你烙印那些小嘍嘍,讓他們被殺了
然後放了最危險的,最恐怖的,是怎樣
蝙蝠俠:因為這樣我以後才不會太無聊
路瑟:叮叮叮叮叮~喋喋不休喔~
我:I服了U
我:神力女超人!
神力女超人:我怎麼了!!!!?
我:你盾牌很厲害我知道,問題是毀滅日的攻擊是全面性的
為啥你身體其他沒被盾牌遮到的部位是沒事的
神力女超人:你忍心看我受傷嗎
我:......
蝙蝠俠:因為我是蝙蝠俠!
我:沒在Cue你啦!!!
蝙蝠俠:我要去吃龍蝦了!!!
======= 結論 =======
這部個人覺得普普,不會到很好看或很難看的地步
但是我認為,可以吐槽的點實在太多了
導致我看的時候一直笑
因此給他:65分
因為這一集,導演的宣傳手法是,讓我們選擇要站在那一邊
所以,我希望下一集的劇情
如果有個人,會因為蝙蝠俠這次害他心愛的人死掉,而站出來要跟他對抗
我會100%站在他那邊的
還有......
我相信,電影裡那個美國總統的名字應該叫......
ㄔㄨㄢ ㄆㄨˇ
--
決定就來寫個 「蝙蝠俠大戰超人」 的吐槽文吧
文長慎入,不過看完的應該會心有戚戚焉
就用我和他們三個的對話來寫好了
=======我是防雷線=======
我:那個女的,對,就是你,東方人
路瑟助理:嗯?
我:你看起來很厲害的樣子阿,你不是看到布魯斯偉恩好像在竊取甚麼東西嗎
怎麼沒去跟路瑟報告,或是去阻止他
路瑟助理:因為他跟我說他只是找不到廁所阿!
我內心OS:好傻好天真....
我:蝙蝠俠,你辛苦做好那麼強的武器(戰戢)
你打完就亂丟,這樣對嗎
我還怕那隻被哪個壞人撿走ㄟ
蝙蝠俠:對阿,你沒看到超人問我戰戢在那裏的時候
我跟他說:「我很忙」
就是因為我忘了我丟哪裡了阿!!!
我:......
我:美國總統,那隻毀滅日「看起來」很恐怖沒錯
但是他連一個城市都沒摧毀
你是要發射核彈發射甚麼啦!?
超人第一集,整個城市被他們打到爛掉,你都不知道要發射核彈
今天那隻只不過是跳上了塔,然後叫一下,你就射了
是在射幾點的啦
然後明明超人要送他去外太空不會回來了
你硬是射到那隻毀滅日掉下來,還差點讓超人死在太空
美國總統:怪我囉,我第一集沒射到的這集要射回來
我:......
我:蝙蝠俠你說:「我要把他引去城市裡,因為我的戰戢放在那」
你那甚麼鬼邏輯,你是智障嗎
你是不會開飛機回去拿再回來戰鬥喔
一定要把那麼恐怖的東西從無人島引回城市歐
然後造成那麼大的破壞
如果真要說第一集超人造成的傷亡是無意的
我相信這一集你造成的傷亡你要負全責啦!!
PS. 我才不相信(因為大家都下班了,所以那裏沒有人)的鬼話
美國總統:沒錯,叫蝙蝠俠出來面對
蝙蝠俠:還不是你把他從太空射下來的
我:超人,你女朋友在哪裡出了事,你馬上就可以知道他在哪,然後飛過去救他
你老媽出了事,要等到人家告訴你你才知道......
你該去面壁了
超人:我在棺材裡面壁中......
我:超人,那把戰戢,你撿到了,可以給敏捷技能點最高的神力女超人阿
你沒事要自己去幹嘛啦
不然,你都還有力氣飛
神力女超人都幫你固定了
你是不會用丟的去射毀滅日喔,一定要衝過去死就是了?
超人:都是蝙蝠俠讓我的智商下降了
神力女超人:整條街的智商都被蝙蝠俠拉下了
蝙蝠俠:還不是美國總統把他從太空射下來
美國總統:第一集沒射到的,這集我要射回來
我:對了,還有,蝙蝠俠,你那個面罩最好可以防彈啦
那看起來明明就是面罩,對著你頭開槍開下去
最好沒事啦
蝙蝠俠:因為我是蝙蝠俠!
我:......
我:那你放過路瑟是怎麼回事,你烙印那些小嘍嘍,讓他們被殺了
然後放了最危險的,最恐怖的,是怎樣
蝙蝠俠:因為這樣我以後才不會太無聊
路瑟:叮叮叮叮叮~喋喋不休喔~
我:I服了U
我:神力女超人!
神力女超人:我怎麼了!!!!?
我:你盾牌很厲害我知道,問題是毀滅日的攻擊是全面性的
為啥你身體其他沒被盾牌遮到的部位是沒事的
神力女超人:你忍心看我受傷嗎
我:......
蝙蝠俠:因為我是蝙蝠俠!
我:沒在Cue你啦!!!
蝙蝠俠:我要去吃龍蝦了!!!
======= 結論 =======
這部個人覺得普普,不會到很好看或很難看的地步
但是我認為,可以吐槽的點實在太多了
導致我看的時候一直笑
因此給他:65分
因為這一集,導演的宣傳手法是,讓我們選擇要站在那一邊
所以,我希望下一集的劇情
如果有個人,會因為蝙蝠俠這次害他心愛的人死掉,而站出來要跟他對抗
我會100%站在他那邊的
還有......
我相信,電影裡那個美國總統的名字應該叫......
ㄔㄨㄢ ㄆㄨˇ
--
Tags:
電影
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at 2017-03-08T15:29
By Edward Lewis
at 2017-03-13T07:46
at 2017-03-13T07:46
By Eden
at 2017-03-16T08:35
at 2017-03-16T08:35
By Ursula
at 2017-03-17T01:58
at 2017-03-17T01:58
By Freda
at 2017-03-20T10:18
at 2017-03-20T10:18
By Margaret
at 2017-03-24T06:07
at 2017-03-24T06:07
By Madame
at 2017-03-25T20:14
at 2017-03-25T20:14
By Blanche
at 2017-03-27T15:07
at 2017-03-27T15:07
By Kama
at 2017-03-28T02:44
at 2017-03-28T02:44
By Bethany
at 2017-03-31T10:30
at 2017-03-31T10:30
By Madame
at 2017-04-01T06:25
at 2017-04-01T06:25
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at 2017-04-04T10:38
at 2017-04-04T10:38
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at 2017-04-08T13:50
at 2017-04-08T13:50
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at 2017-04-10T23:35
at 2017-04-10T23:35
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at 2017-04-13T16:40
at 2017-04-13T16:40
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at 2017-04-15T11:32
at 2017-04-15T11:32
By Daniel
at 2017-04-17T15:51
at 2017-04-17T15:51
By Michael
at 2017-04-20T01:01
at 2017-04-20T01:01
By Christine
at 2017-04-22T19:08
at 2017-04-22T19:08
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at 2017-04-25T13:19
at 2017-04-25T13:19
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at 2017-04-26T04:47
at 2017-04-26T04:47
By Frederica
at 2017-04-30T09:09
at 2017-04-30T09:09
By Olga
at 2017-05-01T20:55
at 2017-05-01T20:55
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at 2017-05-05T05:36
at 2017-05-05T05:36
By Victoria
at 2017-05-07T06:46
at 2017-05-07T06:46
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at 2017-05-08T15:42
at 2017-05-08T15:42
By Thomas
at 2017-05-12T13:50
at 2017-05-12T13:50
By Xanthe
at 2017-05-16T06:17
at 2017-05-16T06:17
By Audriana
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at 2017-05-18T18:29
By Isla
at 2017-05-21T07:24
at 2017-05-21T07:24
By Frederic
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at 2017-05-25T00:18
By Zenobia
at 2017-05-29T09:48
at 2017-05-29T09:48
By Heather
at 2017-05-29T10:49
at 2017-05-29T10:49
By Callum
at 2017-06-03T07:14
at 2017-06-03T07:14
By Andrew
at 2017-06-04T15:31
at 2017-06-04T15:31
By Callum
at 2017-06-05T21:58
at 2017-06-05T21:58
By Thomas
at 2017-06-07T02:18
at 2017-06-07T02:18
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at 2017-06-11T13:59
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at 2017-06-11T21:47
at 2017-06-11T21:47
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at 2017-06-14T02:14
at 2017-06-14T02:14
By Robert
at 2017-06-17T18:52
at 2017-06-17T18:52
By Olga
at 2017-06-21T02:10
at 2017-06-21T02:10
By Oscar
at 2017-06-25T03:07
at 2017-06-25T03:07
By Skylar Davis
at 2017-06-28T15:21
at 2017-06-28T15:21
By Olivia
at 2017-06-29T20:59
at 2017-06-29T20:59
By Hazel
at 2017-06-30T08:50
at 2017-06-30T08:50
By Sierra Rose
at 2017-07-04T09:21
at 2017-07-04T09:21
By Leila
at 2017-07-05T02:16
at 2017-07-05T02:16
By Kumar
at 2017-07-06T12:47
at 2017-07-06T12:47
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at 2017-07-10T21:44
at 2017-07-10T21:44
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at 2017-07-12T14:42
at 2017-07-12T14:42
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at 2017-07-15T09:30
at 2017-07-15T09:30
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at 2017-07-17T22:38
at 2017-07-17T22:38
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at 2017-07-22T16:47
at 2017-07-22T16:47
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at 2017-07-27T09:21
at 2017-07-27T09:21
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at 2017-07-31T13:37
at 2017-07-31T13:37
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at 2017-08-02T10:30
at 2017-08-02T10:30
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at 2017-08-05T19:20
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at 2017-08-09T12:11
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at 2017-08-10T16:57
at 2017-08-10T16:57
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at 2017-08-13T22:36
at 2017-08-13T22:36
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at 2017-08-16T20:52
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at 2017-08-19T13:05
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at 2017-08-24T04:41
at 2017-08-24T04:41
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at 2017-08-27T21:27
at 2017-08-27T21:27
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at 2017-08-28T06:56
at 2017-08-28T06:56
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at 2017-08-30T12:02
at 2017-08-30T12:02
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at 2017-09-03T02:25
at 2017-09-03T02:25
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at 2017-09-04T22:13
at 2017-09-04T22:13
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at 2017-09-05T11:09
at 2017-09-05T11:09
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at 2017-09-06T19:37
at 2017-09-06T19:37
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at 2017-09-08T11:04
at 2017-09-08T11:04
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at 2017-09-09T20:30
at 2017-09-09T20:30
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at 2017-09-14T03:08
at 2017-09-14T03:08
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at 2017-09-14T20:40
at 2017-09-14T20:40
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at 2017-09-19T10:37
at 2017-09-19T10:37
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at 2017-09-24T07:00
at 2017-09-24T07:00
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at 2017-09-27T02:13
at 2017-09-27T02:13
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at 2017-10-01T17:22
at 2017-10-01T17:22
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at 2017-10-05T13:53
at 2017-10-05T13:53
By Frederica
at 2017-10-06T12:46
at 2017-10-06T12:46
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at 2017-10-06T18:53
at 2017-10-06T18:53
By Emma
at 2017-10-08T06:34
at 2017-10-08T06:34
By Carol
at 2017-10-12T12:07
at 2017-10-12T12:07
By Zora
at 2017-10-15T16:42
at 2017-10-15T16:42
By Charlie
at 2017-10-15T19:36
at 2017-10-15T19:36
By Isabella
at 2017-10-18T19:33
at 2017-10-18T19:33
By Erin
at 2017-10-21T01:35
at 2017-10-21T01:35
By Quanna
at 2017-10-24T19:02
at 2017-10-24T19:02
By Oliver
at 2017-10-29T03:08
at 2017-10-29T03:08
By Liam
at 2017-11-02T02:16
at 2017-11-02T02:16
By Kyle
at 2017-11-03T10:40
at 2017-11-03T10:40
By Aaliyah
at 2017-11-07T17:06
at 2017-11-07T17:06
By John
at 2017-11-10T16:34
at 2017-11-10T16:34
By Yedda
at 2017-11-13T11:03
at 2017-11-13T11:03
By John
at 2017-11-13T19:16
at 2017-11-13T19:16
By Liam
at 2017-11-18T14:58
at 2017-11-18T14:58
By Daph Bay
at 2017-11-19T08:33
at 2017-11-19T08:33
By Kama
at 2017-11-23T21:02
at 2017-11-23T21:02
By Yedda
at 2017-11-27T10:22
at 2017-11-27T10:22
By Andrew
at 2017-12-01T08:39
at 2017-12-01T08:39
By Margaret
at 2017-12-02T09:45
at 2017-12-02T09:45
By Ophelia
at 2017-12-06T17:38
at 2017-12-06T17:38
By Kristin
at 2017-12-07T17:32
at 2017-12-07T17:32
By Andrew
at 2017-12-11T04:49
at 2017-12-11T04:49
By Bennie
at 2017-12-11T11:01
at 2017-12-11T11:01
By Genevieve
at 2017-12-11T23:10
at 2017-12-11T23:10
By Elizabeth
at 2017-12-13T23:34
at 2017-12-13T23:34
By Ophelia
at 2017-12-14T11:36
at 2017-12-14T11:36
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at 2017-12-21T01:25
at 2017-12-21T01:25
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