101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a
Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,
and she's really not happy about it.
Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry.
I just don't love him.
Well, it matters to me!
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me!
It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me,
'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.
And today I just stopped and I said,
'What if I don't wanna be a shoe?
What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat!
No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat,
I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money.
Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breathing into a paper bag.]
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it.
Just try to think of nice calm things...
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens,
(Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.)
bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens...
La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.)
I helped!
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?
Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything,
you can always come to Joey.
Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Joey: Who's Paul?
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Monica: Maybe.
Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Monica: Yes!
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel...
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it,
or just complain a lot?
(Chandler doesn't know.)
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)
... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back,
I just gotta go ah, go ah...
Ross: A wandering?
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
(Monica goes to change.)
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Paul: Yeah?
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it
when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again
until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon,
so nothing!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God..
No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your-
(thinks) -big lizards...
Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight,
Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together
my new furniture.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna
hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Ross: Okay, sure.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Commercial Break
---
下週(5/7)part 03進度：
Pheobe地鐵賣唱到Rachel打電話給Barry
共三幕（其實都滿短的）
--
(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a
Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,
and she's really not happy about it.
Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry.
I just don't love him.
Well, it matters to me!
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me!
It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me,
'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.
And today I just stopped and I said,
'What if I don't wanna be a shoe?
What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat!
No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat,
I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money.
Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breathing into a paper bag.]
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it.
Just try to think of nice calm things...
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens,
(Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.)
bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens...
La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.)
I helped!
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?
Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything,
you can always come to Joey.
Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Paul: (over the intercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Joey: Who's Paul?
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Monica: Maybe.
Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Monica: Yes!
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel...
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it,
or just complain a lot?
(Chandler doesn't know.)
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)
... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back,
I just gotta go ah, go ah...
Ross: A wandering?
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
(Monica goes to change.)
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Paul: Yeah?
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it
when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again
until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon,
so nothing!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God..
No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your-
(thinks) -big lizards...
Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight,
Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together
my new furniture.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna
hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Ross: Okay, sure.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Commercial Break
---
下週(5/7)part 03進度：
Pheobe地鐵賣唱到Rachel打電話給Barry
共三幕（其實都滿短的）
--
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