103-part 01 - 六人行

103 The One With the Thumb - PART 01

Originally written by Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz.
Transcribed by guineapig.


PRE-INTRO SCENE: CENTRAL PERK

PHOEBE: (ENTERING) Hi guys!

ALL: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!

ROSS: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?

PHOEBE: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said
'We should do this again!'

ALL: Ohh. Ouch.

RACHEL: What? He said 'we should do it again',
that's good, right?

MONICA: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again'
means 'You will never see me naked'.

RACHEL: Since when?

JOEY: Since always. It's like dating language.
Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.

CHANDLER: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means
'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics
and complaining about them to you'.

PHOEBE: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people'
means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.

RACHEL: And everybody knows this?

JOEY: Yeah. Cushions the blow.

CHANDLER: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid,
and your parents put your dog to sleep,
and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.

ROSS: That's funny, that, no, because, uh,
our parents actually did, uh,
send our dog off to live on a farm.

MONICA: Uh, Ross.

ROSS: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut?
The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm,
they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase
and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!

(INTRO)

SCENE 1: CHANDLER AND JOEY'S APARTMENT.
(JOEY IS REHEARSING A PART;
CHANDLER READS THE OTHER PART FROM A SCRIPT)

CHANDLER: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"

JOEY: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.
But you'll have to live with the knowledge that
you sent an honest man to die."

CHANDLER: Hey, that was really good!

JOEY: Thanks! Let's keep going.

CHANDLER: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"

JOEY: "I just wanna go back to my cell.
'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."

CHANDLER: "Smoke away."

(JOEY TAKES OUT A PACKET OF CIGARETTES AND A LIGHTER.
HE FUMBLES AND DROPS THE LIGHTER.
THEN HE LIGHTS A CIGARETTE, TAKES A DRAG AND COUGHS)

CHANDLER: I think this is probably why
Damone smokes in his cell alone.

JOEY: What?

CHANDLER: Relax your hand!

(JOEY LETS HIS WRIST GO LIMP)

CHANDLER: Not so much!

JOEY: Whoah!

CHANDLER: Hey!

JOEY: Hey!

CHANDLER: Alright, now try taking a puff.

(JOEY TRIES AND VISIBLY WINCES)

CHANDLER: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.

JOEY: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.

CHANDLER: It's fine, it's fine.
Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.

(JOEY RELUCTANTLY GIVES HIM THE CIGARETTE)

CHANDLER: Don't think of it as a cigarette.
Think of it as the thing that's been missing
from your hand. When you're holding it,
you feel right. You feel complete.

JOEY: Y'miss it?

CHANDLER: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke.
(TAKES A PUFF) Oh.. my.. God. (CONTINUES TO SMOKE)


--