103-The One With the Thumb - PART 02
SCENE 2: CENTRAL PERK(ALL PRESENT EXCEPT RACHEL AND PHOEBE)
MONICA: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance
from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
(THE GUYS STRETCH OUT THEIR FINGERS)
JOEY: That's ridiculous!
ROSS: Can I use.. either thumb?
RACHEL: (BRINGING DRINKS) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!
(HANDING THEM OUT) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black..
Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
ALL: Yeah. Yeah, excellent.
RACHEL: (LEAVING TO SERVE OTHERS) Good for me!
(THE GANG SWAP ROUND ALL THE DRINKS)
(ENTER PHOEBE, MUTTERING. SHE SITS DOWN WITHOUT SAYING HI)
JOEY: Y'okay, Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
MONICA: What did they do to you?
PHOEBE: It's nothing, it's just- Okay.
I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly,
you know, STATEMENT-
ROSS: Easy.
PHOEBE: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
CHANDLER: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...
PHOEBE: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
JOEY: What are you talking about? Keep it!
PHOEBE: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it,
it would be like stealing.
RACHEL: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
PHOEBE: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes.
Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took?
'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.'
And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-
'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
MONICA: We're with you. We got it.
(CHANDLER LEANS OVER THE BACK OF THE COUCH, OUT OF SIGHT)
PHOEBE: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it.
It would be like this giant karmic debt.
RACHEL: Chandler, what are you doing?
MONICA: (PULLING HIM UP) Hey. Whaddya doing?
(CHANDLER TRIES TO SHRUG NONCHALANTLY BUT EVENTUALLY HE HAS TO
EXHALE A MOUTHFUL OF SMOKE)
ALL: Oh! Oh, God!
ROSS: What is this?!
CHANDLER: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.
PHOEBE: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
CHANDLER: And this- is my reward!
ROSS: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through
the last time you quit.
CHANDLER: Okay, so this time I won't quit!
ALL: Ohhh! Put it out!
CHANDLER: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out.
(HE DROPS IT IN PHOEBE'S COFFEE)
PHOEBE: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
MONICA: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.
RACHEL: This Alan again? How's it goin'?
MONICA: 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.
JOEY: So when do we get to meet the guy?
MONICA: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
ALL: Oh, come on! Come on!
MONICA: No. Not after what happened with Steve.
CHANDLER: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve!
Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
MONICA: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet.
Just give me a chance to figure that out.
RACHEL: Well, then can we meet him?
MONICA: Nope. Schhorry.
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