104-part 01 - 六人行

104 The One With George Stephanopoulos -PART 01

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Originally written by Alexa Junge.
Transcribed by guineapig.

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PRE-INTRO-SCENE: CENTRAL PERK (ALL PRESENT EXCEPT JOEY)

MONICA: Alright. Phoebe?

PHOEBE: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day,
I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger,
good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!

ROSS: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?

CHANDLER: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day,
I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.

RACHEL: See, there's always one guy.
(MOCKING) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes."

(ENTER JOEY)

ALL: Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.

MONICA: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

JOEY: Probably kill myself!

MONICA: ..Excuse me?

JOEY: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!

ROSS: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.

JOEY: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..

(INTRO)

SCENE 1: CENTRAL PERK (ROSS AND MONICA ARE WATCHING PHOEBE SLEEP)

MONICA: How does she do that?

ROSS: I cannot sleep in a public place.

MONICA: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.

PHOEBE: (WAKING AND STARTLING THEM) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.

ROSS: It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.

MONICA: What's going on with you?

PHOEBE: I got no sleep last night!

ROSS: Why?

PHOEBE: My grandmother has this new boyfriend,
and they're both kind of insecure in bed.
Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like,
having to reassure each other that they're having a good time.
You have no idea how loud they are!

MONICA: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.

PHOEBE: Thanks.

(ENTER CHANDLER AND JOEY. JOEY IS COUNTING HIS STEPS)

JOEY: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven.
See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.

CHANDLER: You got waaaay too much free time.

JOEY: (TO ROSS) Hey! Here's the birthday boy!
Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins,
tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.

CHANDLER: Happy birthday, pal!

JOEY: We love you, man. (KISSES HIM)

ROSS: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.

JOEY: So?

ROSS: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket
and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?

CHANDLER: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty".

ROSS: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?

MONICA: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.

ROSS: Ohhh.

JOEY: What's wrong with the twentieth?

CHANDLER: Eleven days before Hallowe'en.. all the good costumes are gone?

ROSS: Today's the day Carol and I first..
consummated our physical relationship.
(JOEY IS PUZZLED) Sex. ..You know what,
I-I'd better pass on the game.
I think I'm just gonna go home and think about
my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

JOEY: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!

CHANDLER: (TRYING TO STOP ROSS LEAVING) C'mon, Ross!
You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon,
whaddya say, big guy, (PRETENDING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE STOMACH)
huh? huh? huh?

ROSS: What are you doing?

CHANDLER: (STOPS) I have no idea.

JOEY: C'mon, Ross!

ROSS: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it.
Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?

CHANDLER: You got it.

(RACHEL RUNS UP CLUTCHING AN ENVELOPE)

RACHEL: Look look look look look, my first pay check!
Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!

PHOEBE: I remember the day I got my first pay check.
There was a cave in in one of the mines,
and eight people were killed.

MONICA: Wow, you worked in a mine?

PHOEBE: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?

RACHEL: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this.
I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally-
(OPENS ENVELOPE) -not worth it.
Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?
I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.

CHANDLER: (LOOKING) Oh, this is not that bad.

JOEY: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.

ROSS: You can totally, totally live on this.

MONICA: Yeah, yeah.

ROSS: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.

ALL: Oh! Yeah! (THEY GET THEIR WALLETS OUT AND GIVE GENEROUS TIPS)

BOYS: Hockey! (THEY GO TO LEAVE BUT ARE BLOCKED BY LESLIE, KIKI AND JOANNE.
A PAUSE AS THE BOYS STARE AT THEM) Hockey! Hockey. (EXIT BOYS)

LESLIE: (LOOKING ROUND) Rachel?

RACHEL: Oh my God! (RACHEL, LESLIE, KIKI AND JOANNE ALL SCREAM
AND HUG EACH OTHER)

MONICA: (TO PHOEBE) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.

RACHEL: What are you guys doing here?

KIKI: Well, we were in the city shopping,
and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!

JOANNE: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.

RACHEL: (TO (PREGNANT) LESLIE) Look at you, you are so big
I can't believe it!

LESLIE: I know. I know! I'm a duplex.

RACHEL: (TO JOANNE) So what's going on with you?

JOANNE: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm?
(POINTS TO HERSELF; THEY ALL SCREAM)

KIKI: And while we're on the subject of news..
(HOLDS UP HER FINGER TO SHOW A RING; THEY ALL SCREAM)

PHOEBE: (TO MONICA) Look, look, I have elbows! (THEY SCREAM)



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