111-part 06 - 六人行

[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe.
There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]

Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?

(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and
Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)

Monica: Oh! You're awake!

Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?

Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.

Monica: You look good!

Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?

Monica: Oh, sorry.

Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.

Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.

Phoebe: Well, we both have.

Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?

Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.

Monica: I got you the foot massager.

Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.

Monica: I read to you.

Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!

Coma Guy: Well,... thanks.

Monica: Oh, my pleasure.

Phoebe: You're welcome.

Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.

Phoebe: What, that's it?

Monica: "See you around?"

Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?

Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?"
Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"

Coma Guy: Alright, I'll call you.

Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.

Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give.
And then- we just get nothing back!
And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up,
and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.

Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different.
But I guess it was just the coma.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]

Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs,
I just wanted to drop off these copies of
my book for your friends.
Anything you want from Lisbon?

Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.

Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you.
(Kisses him and goes to leave)

Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.

Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.

Chandler: Really stupid.

Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened.
I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again.
Are we okay now?

Chandler: Yeah. No. No...

[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation
through the door as Ross walks up.]

Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.

Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off,
and not just about the kiss, about everything.

Ross: You're kidding.

Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"

Ross: Wow!

Joey: Then she came back with "The question is,
when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"

Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say
"When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"

Joey: That makes more sense.

Ross: So, what's going on now?

Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you!
(Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)

Ross: Whaddya see?

Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down.
Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away...
No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!

(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment,
but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall
and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)

Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?

Chandler: Yeah, okay.

Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)

Chandler: Nice save.

(She walks down the hall)

Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.

Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.

(She leaves)

(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)

Chandler: Hey.

Ross: You mean that?

Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.

Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?

Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse.

Ross: Well, howdya feel?

Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.

Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea,
y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh?
(Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down)
But.. we don't have to go down that road.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book
to the gang.]

Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter,
and I want your absolute honest opinion.
Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.

Monica: What's a 'niffle'?

Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.

Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...

Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'?
Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!

Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!

All: Nooo!

End

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