115-part 01 - 六人行

115 The One With the Stoned Guy - Part 1

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]

Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)

Joey: Thank you.

Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)

Ross: Grazie.

Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)

Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach?

Rachel: Yeah?

Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?

Rachel: Oh! That's why.
(Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.)
I'm sorry!

(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee
and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer,
he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand.
One of his co-workers walks by.]

Woman: Chandler.

Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today.
And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.

Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office
at the end of the day.

Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos,
I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really.
(Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing.

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler.
Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]

Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like,
this incredible news, so when he gets here,
we could all act like, you know...

(Chandler comes in.)

Chandler: Hey!

All: Hey!

Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.

Ross: What's going on?

All: What is it?

Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work.
I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office
and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.

All: That's great!

Chandler: So.... I quit.

All: Why?

Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!

Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.

Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that
this is what I actually do.

Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?

Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys
that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night
worrying about the WENUS.

(Everyone looks at him, confused.)

Rachel: ... the WENUS?

Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.

Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS.

Joey: So what're you going to do?

Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do.
I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.

Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client...
Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant
and he's looking for a head chef.

Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.

Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica)
Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef.
I know, and I thought of you first, but um,
Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....

Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience.
Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.

Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!

Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?

Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic,
so he's looking for someone who can,
you know, create the entire menu.

Monica: (excited) Oh my God!

Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?

Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself
in a big white hat.

Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!



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