115 The One With the Stoned Guy - Part 1
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: Grazie.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel: Oh! That's why.
(Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.)
I'm sorry!
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee
and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer,
he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand.
One of his co-workers walks by.]
Woman: Chandler.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today.
And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office
at the end of the day.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos,
I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really.
(Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler.
Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like,
this incredible news, so when he gets here,
we could all act like, you know...
(Chandler comes in.)
Chandler: Hey!
All: Hey!
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Ross: What's going on?
All: What is it?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work.
I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office
and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
All: That's great!
Chandler: So.... I quit.
All: Why?
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that
this is what I actually do.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys
that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night
worrying about the WENUS.
(Everyone looks at him, confused.)
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do.
I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client...
Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant
and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica)
Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef.
I know, and I thought of you first, but um,
Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience.
Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic,
so he's looking for someone who can,
you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: (excited) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself
in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
--
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: Grazie.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel: Oh! That's why.
(Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.)
I'm sorry!
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee
and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer,
he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand.
One of his co-workers walks by.]
Woman: Chandler.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today.
And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office
at the end of the day.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos,
I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really.
(Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler.
Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like,
this incredible news, so when he gets here,
we could all act like, you know...
(Chandler comes in.)
Chandler: Hey!
All: Hey!
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Ross: What's going on?
All: What is it?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work.
I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office
and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
All: That's great!
Chandler: So.... I quit.
All: Why?
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that
this is what I actually do.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys
that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night
worrying about the WENUS.
(Everyone looks at him, confused.)
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do.
I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client...
Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant
and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica)
Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef.
I know, and I thought of you first, but um,
Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience.
Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic,
so he's looking for someone who can,
you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: (excited) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself
in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
--
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