Garfunkel and Oates - The Loophole - 同志

推薦經典歌曲：

Garfunkel & Oates - The Loophole



ps.本曲原本的歌名是 Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus

改成Loophole應該是為了方便出專輯宣傳。







欸…不確定投稿有沒有限制尺度，

先提醒下頁內容可能涉及不同的宗教觀，

絕對不是歧視，勿對號入座，不喜勿入！

（好啦，這句是模仿某些人常用的假理性真歧視的起手式）








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不囉嗦，

歌曲連結在此：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsSwFpDEulI（附中字版）

推薦理由：很少有反串、打臉歌曲能夠這麼朗朗上口！

歌詞大意：一個女孩因為宗教信仰被教導要婚前守貞，

但就像許多青少年，她又想跟男友魚水之歡，

因此為了讓自己保持聖潔，她突破了上帝的盲腸，

她發現在婚前一直選擇跟男友肛交即可，

因為上帝只禁止同性戀肛交，沒禁止異性戀肛交呢！


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個人必須推薦之情感因素：

我受夠那些不經大腦又傷人的發言了。


近年婚姻平權的議題備受關注，

一部分原因也許要感謝那些反智人士的助攻，

就像蔡止元之於柯批那樣，

要不是敵人持續豬一般的發言，

不會那麼多人覺得需要發聲來證明智商正常。

慚愧的是，在這兩年之前，

我也從來不在乎結婚是不是人權，因為就有這個權力我也不會選擇結婚，

最後是1130遊行、立院公聽會、護家萌、下福萌、Law in shit讓我也醒了，

如果有這麼多人可以公開地以愛同志之名行歧視之實，

那我也想要彈著吉他溫暖地唱這首歌打腫they的臉。

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最後附上官方版mv：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY

以及很長的歌詞。

Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck

But I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight

Never learned about the birds and the bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long

I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out

Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!

Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore

Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head

So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come

Oops! I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God

Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin

I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance

Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight

And I'm staying pure, no matter what
So I'm OK with everything butt
Everything butt
Everything butt

Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest I live by for sure

So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and
divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't count,
of course
Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and mine it for ambiguities
and omissions
To circumvent any real sacrifice, but still feel pious in my arbitrary
parroted positions

And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction

As the only way to measure if you're good or not
And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
Because when you're up against logic, it's the only card you've got

So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And..

Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
But sometimes you need to think outside the box




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ps.其中一個歌手飾演美劇The Big Bang Theory裡Raj的瘋狂女友XD




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