丈夫外遇後,女人的夢 - 臺劇

By Dorothy
at 2011-04-16T10:56
at 2011-04-16T10:56
Table of Contents
曾經看過爸媽囧很大的一個單元
主持人問著一位丈夫外遇,卻拖了22年才離婚的來賓
問她這22年,在執著什麼?
她說:她在等一個道歉,等對方誠心誠意的跟她道歉,說他做錯選擇了..
只是22年過去,她都沒等到,一回首突然覺得很不值,於是答應離婚了
如果人生重來一次,她會在發現她先生外遇的那個當下,就選擇離婚
不要再用22年來面對自己的錯誤選擇,再看著對方不斷傷害自己與小孩
我自己離婚四年了(前一段交往+婚姻十年)
婚姻中經過二次的外遇,第一次回頭我選擇原諒
第二次我崩潰了,無法再堅強面對這一切,而逃離了這個婚姻
這四年我有了新的生活、工作、對象
但是還是常常在夢中驚醒,然後突然的哭泣
我常常在想,我已經離開了、也過得很好,為什麼心裡總有一塊缺憾
再怎樣也彌補不了的缺憾
我一直以為,我需要一個道歉,因為我的前夫從來沒有跟我說過對不起
他覺得他在追求自我,他並沒有對不起任何一個人
就像溫瑞凡曾經說過:我順著我的心愛一個人,錯了嗎?
於是我告訴自己,即使我的自尊在不被對方選擇的那一刻受到傷害
我也不需要靠對方回頭,來重拾我的自尊,我的自尊是自己給自己的
即使對方真的回頭,也沒辦法撫平我曾有的創傷
只是,只是,我卻無法否認,內心裡有那一個小小的角落
我還是期盼著他,能走到我的面前,告訴我他錯了
我想復合嗎?不、我不想,那為什麼我有這樣的寄望?
昨晚看了瑞凡的眼淚告白後,安真的那一句:我回不去了
徹底打到我的心裡
我終於明白,我想要的是什麼
我不需要一個道歉
我只是想要告訴那個曾經放棄我的人,我也是有選擇權的
我沒有如此不堪、只能被動的等你撿起、放下
我已不再是十多歲,單純只渴望你的愛的小女孩
那個讓你誤以為你回頭,就會張開雙臂等著你的女人
所以,我需要的,是一個堅毅的拒絕,是一個重拾選擇權的機會
而且這個拒絕,發自內心的成長
不是因為厭惡對方、不是因為恐懼對方再犯、不是因為害怕對方曾經帶來的傷害
而是真真切切表達出,自己真的明白,這個人不適合自己
也真正面對與放下,自己曾有的選擇錯誤
突然,我發現人妻這部戲,拍出了當男人外遇時,女人真正的夢想
不是復合、不是找到有錢的新對象
而是回歸內心,把曾經被人打碎的自尊,一片片撿起來,重組成新的自己
那一個不是只會因為舊情而盲目、只能被動等對方回頭或離去的自己
而是不管對方做什麼,仍舊會有成長、自己作選擇的自己
--
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臺劇
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