超好笑的影評-村聲寫變形金剛5 - 電影

※ 引述《joey0602 (joey)》之銘言：
: 轉載村聲(Village Voice)的變形金剛5影評
: 無雷
: 看前面沒有po這個，分享一個影評人被折磨的過程www
: 瞬間被戳笑點wwwwww
: 這個村聲的BILGE EBIRI應該是在公司猜拳猜輸去的
: 原文網址 https://goo.gl/umeGz1
: http://i.imgur.com/OB7cTUB.jpg
: 中間有一段非亂碼的
: 稱讚了管家機器人考個鰻彈奏主題音樂打斷霍普金斯演講的"幽默"場景
: 他笑了，然後沒了
: 他看片寫的筆記
: http://i.imgur.com/q4p7OBd.jpg

幫解碼:



第二行: so much random stuff so much

第三行: it's like you thought the earlier movies were confusing hahahah

第四行: how are kids supposed to understand any of this

第五行: actually how are adults supposed to understand any of this

第六行: say what you will but once upon a time

第七行: michael bay could bring beauty to an action scene

第八行: manic poetry filled with kinetic grace and heroism

第九行: like whatever happened to THAT guy

第十行: the guy who made the rock and bad boys 2 and even the first
transformers

第十一行: pain and gain too that was pretty good

第十二行: but now he's become a self-parody

第十三行: and the crazy thing is he knows it

第十四行: but doesn't seem to know how to escape it



(後半段)

第一行: a vomitous discharge of plot points

第二行: like there's a chosen one here and another chosen one

第三行: and multiple sacred objects

第四行: and jesus a tone point they even have mark wahlberg utter arthur c
clarke's

第五行: famous quote about how any sufficiently advanced technology will be

第六行: indistinguishable from magic oh god stop!!!

第七行: it's all overload and overkill and chaos

第八行: like your shopping bag burst and splattered robots all over the floor

第九行: but we lost this war a long time ago

第十行: what do you do when the signal becomes the noise

第十一行: and you can no longer tell the difference.



黃金鐵律:

爛電影，永遠是好影評文章，與影評創意的溫床。




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