101-part 01 - 六人行

101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]

Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Monica: 沒有什麼好說的呀！他只是工作上的夥伴而已！

Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong
with him!
Joey: 拜託，你可是和一個男出去耶！那個男的一定有什麼問題！

Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump#? A hump and a
hairpiece?
Chandler: Joey好了啦，對她好一點。那他駝背嗎？駝背又戴假髮？

Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
Phoebe: 等下…他吃粉筆嗎？

(They all stare, bemused.)
(大家困惑的看著她。)

Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with
Carl- oh!
Phoebe: 哦我只是不希望她遇到我當初和Carl一樣的事情而已。噢！

Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people
going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Monica: 好啦大家放輕鬆，這根本算不上約會，只是兩個人單純出去用個晚餐然後…不會
做愛啦。

Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Chandler: 這聽起來就像是我的約會一樣。(或：這對我來說就是約會了)



[Time Lapse]



Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of
the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
Chandler: 好了，所以我回到了高中，我站在自助餐廳的中間，然後我發現我沒穿任何衣
服。

All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
所有人: 哦，我做過這樣的夢。

Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Chandler: 當我往下看的時候，我才發現有個電話…在「那裡」。

Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: 而不是…？

Chandler: That's right.
Chandler: 對！

Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: 我沒做過這樣的夢。

Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: 我也沒有。

Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to
do, everybody starts looking at me.
Chandler: 突然間，電話開始響了。我開始不知道要怎麼辦，大家都著我。

Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Monica: 所以大家之前都沒看你嗎？

Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my
mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
Chandler: 最後，我覺得我還是接起來比較好。我發現原來是我媽打來的，這非常的奇怪
，因為：她從來沒有打給我過！



[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]



Ross: (mortified) Hi.
Ross: (壓抑)Hi。

Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: 每次這傢伙打招呼的時候我都想自殺。

Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: 親愛的你現在覺得如何？

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small
intestine#1, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Ross: 我覺得像是有人把手伸進我的喉嚨、抓住我的腸子、從我嘴裡拉出來，
再把它緊緊纏在我的脖子上。

Chandler: Cookie?
Chandler: 餅乾？

Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (向其他人解釋) 今天Carol把她的東西搬出來了。

Joey: Ohh.
Joey: 噢。

Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Monica: (對Ross說) 我幫你拿一些咖啡吧。

Ross: Thanks.
Ross: 謝謝。

Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck# at the air just in front of Ross.)
Phoebe: 噢！噢！ (她開始拉下Ross前面的空氣)

Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura#! No, just leave my aura alone,
okay?
Ross: 不！不要！不要再清我的氣場了！不！讓我的氣場安靜一下可以嗎？

Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Phoebe: 隨便你！繼續陰沉吧！

Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Ross: 我會好起來，好嗎？我說真的。我希望她會過得很快樂。

Monica: No you don't.
Monica: 你才不會呢。

Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Rpss: 我才不會，去她的，她甩了我！

Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: 你從來不知道她是同性戀呀…

Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on# that? She didn't know,
how should I know?
Ross: 對，我不知道，可以嗎？為什麼大家老是執著這件事呢？她不知道，我又怎知？

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...(They all stare at him.) Did I
say that out loud?
Chandler: 有時候我希望自己也是女同性戀…(大家都盯著他) 哦我說得很大聲嗎？

Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Ross: 我昨晚告訴爸媽了,他們似乎頗能接受的樣子。

Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical# phone call I got from a woman at
sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have
grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Monica: 真的嗎？所以我半夜三點接到一個歇斯底里的女人打電話來說「我永遠不能抱孫
子了，我永遠不能抱孫子了」那是怎樣？打錯電話嗎？

Ross: Sorry.
Ross: 對不起。

Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're
angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: 好了啦Ross，你看，你現在覺得很痛苦，你很生氣，你受傷了。我可以告訴你要怎
麼做嗎？

(Ross gestures his consent.)
(Ross用手勢叫Joey說下去)

Joey: Strip joint#2! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: 脫衣舞夜總會！拜託，你單身，你也有一些荷爾蒙需要呀！

Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be
married again!
Ross: 我才不想單身好嗎？我只是…我只是…想要再結婚呀！

(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
(Rachel穿著一身溼禮服進來，並開始環繞四周。)

Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends# his hand hopefully.)
Chandler: 那我想要一百萬！ (他充滿希望的張開雙手)

Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Rachel？！

Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you
weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here
and you are, you are!
Rachel: 噢謝天謝地你在這！Monica嗨！我剛去你的公寓但你不在那，然後那個帶著大鐵
鎚的人說你大概在這，你真的在這，真的！

Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
服務生: 需要咖啡嗎？

Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff.
(to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey,
and- you remember my brother Ross?
Monica: (指著Rachel) 低卡的。
(對大家) 好的各位，她是Rachel，另一個Lincoln高中的生還者。
(對Rachel) 這是大家。他是Chandler、Phoebe和Joey。和…你還記得我哥Ross嗎？

Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: Hi！當然！

Ross: Hi.
Ross: Hi！

(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens.He sits back down defeated again. A
moment of silence follows as Rachel sit sand the others expect her to
explain.)
(他們互相擁抱，但Ross的雨傘卻爆開了，他又很挫折的坐了下來。大家在Rachel坐下來
的時候沉默的看著她，希望她快點說明發生了什麼事。)

Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?#
Monica: 所以你現在要告訴我們嗎，還是你要等四位溼透的伴娘來之後再說呢？

Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I
was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,# and I was
looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge# gravy boat.
When all of a sudden-
(to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?
- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much
Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked
familiar, but...Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started
wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'.
(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that
you and I have kinda drifted apart#, but you're the only person I knew
who lived here in the city.
Rachel: 噢天啊…好吧，這是發生在婚禮前的半小時。當時我在放禮物的小房間裡，我正
在看一個船形肉汁盤。那是一個非常棒的Lamauge船形肉汁盤，突…
(對捧著咖啡的服務生說) 代糖？
我才發現它比Barry更容易讓我有衝動！我就嚇壞了，我才驚覺：Barry長得多像
Mr. Potato Head呀！你知道，我說，我一直覺得他長得很面熟，不過……總之
，我只想離開那裡，然後我開始納悶：為什麼我要這樣做，我到底為了誰？
(對Monica) 總之，我就是不知道我該何去何從，我知道我們有些疏遠了，但你是
唯一一個我知道住在這裡的人呀！

Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Monica: 也是沒被邀請的…

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
Rachel: 噢我本來偷偷希望那不會成為一個問題的…




#1 小腸是small intestine，大腸是large intestine。
#2 就等於strip club


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我因為在google dox工作的，所以格式有改了一下不好意思XD"
第一次翻譯，有些地方翻錯的敬請指正(翻譯原來那麼難Q口Q)



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