[Scene: Monica and Rachel's,
Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Monica: He doesn't have anyone.
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back
we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound':
the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing.
You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this.
Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Rachel: No way, forget it.
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's!
Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books!
I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one!
I mean, this is so cool!
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool
if you're eleven years old and all your friends
are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: Oh, please...
(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)
Paolo: Bona sera.
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Monica: Last night.
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?...
Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-
you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing,
but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
All: Shhh.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing,
how is that going?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow,
which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
All: Awww!
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong,
I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow..
I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom!
I bought my son his first condoms.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit
to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background.
It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill...
the mayor wants to raise subway fares again...
the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room,
then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing,
then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Monica: Nah... not-not special enough.
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Monica: Waaay too special.
--
Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Monica: He doesn't have anyone.
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back
we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound':
the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing.
You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this.
Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Rachel: No way, forget it.
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's!
Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books!
I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one!
I mean, this is so cool!
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool
if you're eleven years old and all your friends
are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Ross: Oh, please...
(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)
Paolo: Bona sera.
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Monica: Last night.
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?...
Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-
you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing,
but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
All: Shhh.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing,
how is that going?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow,
which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
All: Awww!
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong,
I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow..
I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom!
I bought my son his first condoms.
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit
to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background.
It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill...
the mayor wants to raise subway fares again...
the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room,
then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing,
then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Monica: Nah... not-not special enough.
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Monica: Waaay too special.
--
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