114-part 02 - 六人行

Part-02

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there,
discussing their bad luck with men.]

Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.

Monica: Which one was Pete Carney?

Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time
we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"

Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over
Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!"
I went out with the guy for two months—I didn't get to win once.

Rachel: How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people!

Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets.

Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

Monica: There's more beer, right?

Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head?
She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle,
you can do like a cleansing ritual.

Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.

Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys.
It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.

Monica: Ok, well, what kind of ritual?

Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.

Rachel: Or?

Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.

Monica: Burning's good.

Rachel: Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn.

[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice
are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close,
Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]

Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little,
I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.

Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?

Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures.
So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.

Chandler: That's OK.

Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really?
Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them,
and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.

(Lorraine whispers into Joey's ear.)

Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.

Chandler: (disgusted) What? What can't you do?

Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?

(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)

Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.

Chandler: Tell me it's "you and me" we.

Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off.
I'm not even sure what slathering is,
but I definitely want to be a part of it.

Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.

Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.

Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?

Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me.
I'm sorry, Chandler.

Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.

(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)

Chandler: So...

Janice: Just us.

Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!

Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that,
uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper
ever since you came back from the bathroom.

Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down
while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him)
How ya doin'?

Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?

Chandler: Joey's not a friend.
He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card.
Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?

Janice: I will go for that drink.

Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man)
Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?

Janice: Each.

Chandler: That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy.
(to Janice) I've always wanted to know...

[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up,
and finds someone else's hand on his chest.
He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]

Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!

Commercial Break

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