115-part 03 - 六人行

Part 3

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there,
discussing what happened last night.]

Joey: (in disbelief) Vulva?

Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise.
You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.

Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times??

Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just...
I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?

Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her.
Or what you want her to do to you.
Or what you think other people might be doing to each other.
I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.

Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.

Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes
and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.

Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...

Joey: ....yeah... what else?

Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there,
we're not having this conversation. (gets up, walks across room)

Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?

Ross: Joey, please.

Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look!
(in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot.
I want your lips on me now.

Ross: (impressed) Wow.

Joey: Alright, now you say something.

Ross: I... ahem... I really don't think so.

Joey: Come on! You like this woman, right?

Ross: Yeah.

Joey: You want to see her again, right?

Ross: Sure.

Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me,
how're you going to talk dirty to her?
Now tell me you want to caress my butt!

Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback)
I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.

Joey: (turning around) Alright, alright. I'm around. Go ahead.

Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot,
soft skin with my lips.

Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep going!

Ross: I, er...

(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom.
Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice.
Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)

Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...

(Chandler is completely astounded.)

Ross: ....and....

Joey: Say it... say it!

Ross: ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with...

(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him.
Ross and Joey both notice at the same time.
They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see
Chandler staring at them.)

Chandler: (smiling)....with??

Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!

Joey: You're not going to believe this!

Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids
to get together.

Joey: Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping
that guy from your old job called again.

Chandler: Again?

Joey: And again, and again, and again...
(phone rings, he answers) Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And again.

Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor?
(Listens) Yeah, I miss you too.
(Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens
from your own home, you know?
(Listens) Well, that's very generous
(Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money.
I need something that's more than a job.
I need something I can really care about....
(Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure
you mentioned earlier?
(Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK?
This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection!
(Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers!
I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy!
You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday!
(slams the phone down)

[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is showing Phoebe around.]

Chandler: Well?

Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle.
Oh, this is a cube.

Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)

Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!

Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...

Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!

Chandler: (walks away from window) OK, that's enough of the view.
Check this out, look at this. Sit down, sit down.

Phoebe: (sitting) OK.

Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom)
Helen, could you come in here for a moment?

(An unamused woman walks into the office.)

Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.

(She leaves, obviously perturbed.)

Chandler: Last time I do that, I promise.


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