121-part 03 - 六人行

※ 引述《samchiu (閒祭秋)》之銘言：
121 The One With The Fake Monica –Part 3

[Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier.
They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.]
[場景：中央咖啡園，延續稍早的場景。男生們像三猴尊一樣坐在那裡。]

Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
我真不敢相信，羅斯。爛死了！

Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him.
How can he be an adult already?
我不懂耶，我是說，你才剛弄到牠。
牠怎麼會已經成年了呢？

Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing,
and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
我知道。我知道。我是說，前一天，牠還是個小東西，
然後不知不覺地，牠就變成不肯放開我的腿的小東西了。

Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
你沒有辦法留下牠嗎？

Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place
where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,
' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
不，不行。獸醫說除非牠的環境可以讓牠正常進行那種...猴子愛愛，
不然牠會變的很兇猛。我得把牠送進動物園。

Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
你要怎麼把猴子弄進動物園？

Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
我知道答案！...不對，那是把教宗弄進福斯車。

Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them.
Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos,
y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right?
But that might just be a pipe dream, because,
y'know, he's out of state.
Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
呃，我們申請了很多所。
我們的首選自然是一座大點的州立動物園，
你知道，像是，呃，聖地牙哥...對吧？
但那可能只是癡人說夢，因為，你知道，他不在那個州。
呃，我的獸醫，呃，在邁阿密有熟人，那是比較有可能的。

Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach.
I mean, it's a total party zoo.
對啊，但那邊離海灘像是過兩條街就到了。
我是說，那一定是個派對動物園。

(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
(菲碧、莫妮卡和瑞秋進來)

Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.
嘿。我們找到了，我們找到那女生了。

Chandler: What?
什麼？

Joey: Did you call the cops?
你們有報警嗎？

Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
沒有。我們帶她去吃午餐。

Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
啊，你們自創的私法正義。

Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you.
She stole. She's a stealer.
什麼？你們瘋了嗎？這女人偷你的錢。她偷東西，她是小偷耶。

Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes,
you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person,
with this, with this amazing spirit.
知道嗎？在你跟這個女人相處了大概十分鐘後，你就忘了那個。
我是說，她就是這麼驚人的人，有這，這麼驚人的個性。

Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
對啊，她可能是從哪個啦啦隊員那偷來的。

Chandler: ...Take off their hats!
...摘下她們的帽子！

Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
教宗坐福斯車！ ...我好愛那個笑話。

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
[場景：莫妮卡和瑞秋家，莫妮卡、瑞秋和偽莫妮卡在。]

Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
不可能。你不可能那樣子過。

Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
莫娜娜超勇敢的。

Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens
in room six fifteen.
Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over
the entire sixth floor!
那超瘋狂的。我們說我們是住615號房的甘納森家。
只為了去找包下整個六樓的波士頓塞爾提克隊！

Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're,
y'know, short and have breasts...
所以當他們發現我們是，你知道，又矮又有胸部...

Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
...他們把我們轟出去！我被旅館轟出去耶！我耶！

Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream.
I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know.
Don't wait up. (Exits)
莫娜娜萬歲！好，你們兩個不是只活在夢裡的那種人。
我要去幫我不認識的人倒咖啡了。不用等我。(離開)

Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
喔，對了，明天我們要去試演一齣百老匯劇。

Monica: 'Scuse me?
你說什麼？

Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats.
I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories
and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
有一場《貓》的公開徵選。我想說我們到那邊去，
唱唱《回憶》出盡我們的洋相。你覺得怎樣？

Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here.
I mean, I'm not like you.
I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
不不不不不不。想想你是在跟誰說話。
我是說，我又不像妳。我...我甚至不敢站在舞蹈班前面。

Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
好，那大概只是因為你的阿米什出身。

Monica: What?
什麼？

Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
呃，你是賓州荷蘭人，對吧？

Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
對。直到我買了把吹風機，結果就被排擠了。

Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you.
And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life.
Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
我...我以前也跟你一樣。
結果有一天我看了一部改變我一生的電影。
你有看過《春風化雨》嗎？

Monica: Uh-huh.
呃.恩。

Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring.
I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself
because he can't be in the play? What was that?!
It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home,
do some community theatre.
I walked out of there and I thought,
'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.'
And that thought scared me more than all the other crap
I was afraid to do.
我覺得那部電影真是超級的...無聊。
我是說，在最後那個小孩自殺的那段，就為了他不能去演戲？
那是怎樣？就好像，小鬼，再等一年，離家出走，隨便找個社區劇場。
我走出戲院然後想說，「我人生的那兩個小時再也要不回來了」
那個想法比什麼其他我不敢做的事都要可怕。

Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
哇。那我絕對不建議你看《窈窕奶爸》。

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse.
Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[場景：莫妮卡和瑞秋家，時間經過。除了喬伊和莫妮卡的四人在]。

Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton.
(To the others) That was like our safety zoo.
They take like dogs and cows. See?
I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
(讀信) 喔天啊。 (對馬歇爾) 我們不能進史克藍登。
(對其他人) 那是我們的保險牌。他們連狗跟牛都收。看吧？
我不知道誰比較難過，是我還是他。

Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.
我會說是那隻椅子比較難過。

Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him?
馬歇爾！馬歇爾！馬歇爾，不行！好孩子。看吧，怎麼會沒人要他？

Rachel: Oh, somebody will.
喔，有人會要的。

Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
(進來) 你知道已經有一個喬瑟夫史達林了嗎？

Chandler: You're kidding.
你開玩笑吧。

Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator
who slaughtered all these people.
You'd think you would've known that!
顯然他是一個俄國獨裁者還殺了一堆人。還以為你會知道這種事耶！

Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.
知道嗎，你以為我會知道咧。

Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?
菲碧。你可以幫我想一個很棒的藝名嗎？

Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.
...火焰小子。


--