如果人的一生是一本書..... 口白人生 - HBO

※ 引述《istelle (N NN￾N)》之銘言：
: 關於原作者提到的剪片問題，也是很多人抗議過了。
: 這個不是動不動就剪的啊，是各地把關的標準不同
: 我來給大家說說始末。
: HBO設於新加坡的亞洲區總部是HBO Asia，顧名思義負責亞洲區的頻道。
: HBO電影資料庫的電影分成兩大類，edited及unedited，
: 而edited又分成india edited、malaysia astro edited及asia edited。
: 通常在拿到電影原始素材之後，content editor會將當中的
: 不良內容如髒話、色情畫面剪輯掉，再交給各地的電檢局審查。
: 麻煩就出在，同一部電影要在亞洲其他地區播放
: 麻煩國家把關標準列舉如下︰
: 印度的不能有太髒的髒話不能太血腥，
: 中國不能有髒話不能太血腥不能太暴露不能很可怕的鬼怪，
: 馬來西亞不能有髒話不能太血腥不能太暴露。

之前HBO在播Inside Man(臥底)，除了髒話血腥被剪，還剪了一個很有趣的小地方；

Jodie Foster飾的談判專家在接近尾聲時去找正在理髮的銀行大老闆，
這老闆在二戰時發死人財，雖然秘密一直關在保險箱裡但被Clive Owen飾的搶匪奪走了。

播出時的對話是

Madeliene White: Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but
(Jodie演的角色): 嗯，我很樂意告訴你你是個怪物，但

[很奇怪地鏡頭馬上切向Arthur的臉]

Arthur Case: If that were true, you wouldn't tell me.
(銀行老闆) :如果是真的，你不會告訴我。

Madeliene White: We're listing you as a reference.
我們會把你列入參考(字幕上了類似的字眼，記不很清楚)

雖然聽起來很怪，但是硬要拗也還說得過去(編譯人員您辛苦了)

但其實真像是

Madeliene: Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but,
uh, I have to help Bin Laden's nephew buy a co-op on Park Ave.

(嗯，我很樂意告訴你你是個怪物，但是，
我要幫賓拉登的姪子買下公園大道上的一家合作社)

Arthur Case: If that were true, you wouldn't tell me.
如果是真的，你不會告訴我。

Madeliene White: We're listing you as a reference.
我們把你列為證明人(意指暗中做不法、不道德勾當，你也是箇中佼楚)

剪掉一句話，原本作品的詼諧整個變調；
難道是因為新加坡的回教徒都反賓拉登，相關字眼就算開玩笑都不可以嗎？



: 之前馬來西亞正逢回教齋戒月，馬來西亞的astro(衛星服務公司)
: 特別傳話過來說，這個月把關要特別嚴格。
: 所以當時拍攝HBO本月最愛時，simone包得緊緊的，真悶。
: 除了台灣版本的主持人李培禎不在此限，因為只在台灣播放。
: 在通過剪輯及審查之後才能播片。通常在台灣及新加坡播放的是asia edited，
: 到這裡有人會問，asia edited照理說尺度比較寬一點點吧，
: 真真也只有寬那一點。因為新加坡還有不少回教徒，
: 有些議題不能碰觸，例如同性戀題材，
: 因為同性戀在回教法律中是違法的。
: 否則HBO會在什麼防礙風化、煽動種族whatever之類的法令下被提控。
: 在馬來西亞必須更小心。
: 因為任何馬來文以外的電視臺跟馬來西亞的華文學校一樣，
: 在馬來西亞被關臺之後是很難開臺的，
: 除非HBO改成馬來文臺。
: 公司在這個敏感地帶身不由己啊，想看完整版也只能買DVD
: 然後說到口白人生，這部電影的預告剛好是我剪的 XD
: 一邊剪一邊抗拒不住，一再一再放下工作專心欣賞
: 真的相當不錯
: po一些精彩對白如下︰
: 開場白︰
: Kay Eiffel: [narrating] This is a story about a man named Harold
: Crick and his wristwatch. Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers,
: endless calculations, and remarkably few words. And his wristwatch
: said even less. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would brush
: each of his thirty-two teeth seventy-six times. Thirty-eight times
: back and forth, thirty-eight times up and down. Every weekday, for
: twelve years, Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead
: of the double, thereby saving up to forty-three seconds. His wristwatch
: thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat, but said nothing.
: Harold Crick: [Ana has just brought out a huge box totally stuffed with a
: mess of papers] What's this?
: Ana Pascal: [Very pleased with herself] My tax files and receipts for the
: last three years.
: Harold Crick: [Horrified] You keep your files like this?
: Ana Pascal: No. Actually I'm quite fastidious. I put them in this box just to
: screw with you.
: Book Channel Host: So, can you tell us the title of the book you haven't
: written yet?
: Kay Eiffel: [Who has had just about enough of this host] I'm calling it Death
: and Taxes.
: Book Channel Host: Death and Texas? Hey! I'm from Texas!
: Kay Eiffel: Wha?
: Book Channel Host: Yep! San Antone.
: Kay Eiffel: No, no, no, no. Death and Taxes. Taxes. TAXes.
: Book Channel Host: Oh! Death and TAXES! Like the Ben Franklin quote.
: Kay Eiffel: Yes.
: Book Channel Host: Oh now I feel really silly.
: Kay Eiffel: [under her breath] You should.
: Harold Crick: [on bus, and sees Ana get on the same bus] Miss Pascal! Miss
: Pascal!
: Ana Pascal: [she sees him and moves away so that she is standing in the aisle]
: Harold Crick: It's Harold Crick from the IRS.
: Ana Pascal: [embarrassed] Hi.
: Harold Crick: Hey, do you want a seat?
: Ana Pascal: No.
: Harold Crick: Because there are 11 empty ones.
: Harold Crick: So, how are you?
: Ana Pascal: I'm lousy. I'm getting audited! By a real *creep*, too.
: Harold Crick: I may already be dead, just not typed.
: Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
: Kay Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.
: 小小聲說，299+1壯士跟第三隻蜘蛛要登場啦！(逃)

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