106-part 01 - 六人行

※ 引述《samchiu (閒祭秋)》之銘言：
The One With the Butt
屁股

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Written by: Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider
Transcribed by: guineapig
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[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for
a play of Joey's to start.]
[場景：一家戲院，大夥在觀眾席看戲，等著喬伊出場]

Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look!
Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
（看節目單）唔！看！看！看！看，有喬伊的照片！真令人興奮啊！

Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen
one of his plays before.
Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
你總是能鎖定幾個從來沒看過他戲劇作品的人。
特徵：毫無恐懼、對於末日的來臨毫無知覺...

Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me.
(Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
標題上的驚嘆號嚇到我了。
（比劃）知道嗎，他不只是佛洛依德，而是『佛洛依德！』

(The lights dim.)
（場燈暗）

Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
喔，噓，噓。奇蹟即將發生了

(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud,
is talking to a female patient.)
（舞台上的燈亮，喬伊，演佛洛依德，正在對一名女病患說話）

Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here,
and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear.
(He goes into a song and dance number.)
好，愛娃，偶們進行的粉順利，而且偶跟你說，你的問題揮常清此。
（開始唱歌跳舞）

All you want is a dingle,
你要的就是附寶貝
What you envy's a schwang,
你嫉妒的是那話兒
A thing through which you can tinkle,
有了它就能夠撒尿
Or play with, or simply let hang...
或把玩 或閒晃在那

Opening Credits

[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding.
As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
[場景：戲院裡，表演結束大家鼓掌。當演員走了之後，大家沈重的坐了下來]

Rachel: God. I feel violated.
老天，我覺得被冒犯了

Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to
peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
還有其他人覺得想把自己的皮膚剝下來，讓自己有點事做嗎？

Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
（看著房間對面的女人）羅斯，十點鐘

Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
是嗎？才兩點吧

Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
不，十點鐘

Ross: What?
什麼？

Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain)
There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
（嘆氣比手勢解釋）有個漂亮女人在八、九、十點鐘方向！

Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
喔，你好啊！

Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about
look like short, fat, bald men!
她真漂亮！她讓我的夢中情人看起來像又矮又肥的禿頭佬！

Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
好，去她那邊啊！她身邊沒有伴

Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be?
'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
喔對，那要用什麼當開場白？「對不起，巴拉巴拉巴拉拉」

Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
喔，拜託。她也是人，你做的到！

Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league?
Ross, back me up here.
喔，拜託，她能不能再非我族類點呢？羅斯，快掩護我。

Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
他再過一百萬年也把不到那種女人啦

Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
謝啦，老兄。

Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women
with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
喔，喔，但是呢，你總是會看到些超漂亮的女人
跟超不起眼的傢伙在一起，你也可以像他們一樣。

Monica: You could do that!
你做的到啦！

Chandler: Y'think?
真的嗎？

All: Yeah!
對啦！

Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this...
I'm very very aware of my tongue...
天啊，不敢相信我居然在考慮了...我非常非常在意我的言行...

Ross: C'mon! C'mon!
快上！快上！

Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
我去囉。（她走到他旁邊但只站在那）

Aurora: ...Yes?
...有事嗎？

Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler!
Chandler is my name, and, uh...
(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
嗨...嗯...好吧，下一句...要說...錢德！
我叫做錢德，而且，呃...（他清清喉嚨）...嗨

Aurora: Yes, you said that.
是，你說過了

Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was
what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was,
uh.. would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight.
(He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
對，我說過了，但我沒說過的是我想要說的，我想要說的是，
呃...你要不要偶爾跟我出去約會，謝謝，晚安！
（他走回去大家旁邊，但美女叫他回去）

Aurora: Chandler?
錢德？

(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
（喬伊從幕後走出來。大家馬上開始說話）

All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
嘿！你演了一齣戲！我不知道你會跳舞！你有鬍子耶！

Joey: Whadja think?
感覺怎樣？

(Pause)
（暫停）

All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
...嘿！你演了一齣戲！我不知道你會跳舞！你有鬍子耶！

Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad.
It was better than that thing I did with the trolls,
at least you got to see my head.
拜託，各位，沒那麼糟吧。
這個比我跟山怪演的那部好的多吧，至少看的到臉

All: (admitting) Saw your head. Saw your head.
（同意）看到臉了。看到臉了。

Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!!
(To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah.
(To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian,
and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'.
I think I like it better that way.
(To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you.
(He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
（跑回來）她答應了！！她答應了！！
（對喬伊）好爛的戲，老兄。哇。
（對大家）她叫做歐若拉，她是個義大利人，
她這樣子叫我名字「錢～德兒」「錢～德兒」。我想我喜歡那樣。
（對喬伊）喔，聽著，接待員要我把這個拿給你。
（他從口袋拿出一張名片）

Rachel: What is it?
那是什麼？

Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.
Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
愛絲特里歐娜演藝事務所。哇，經紀公司給我名片耶！也許他們要簽我！

Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
因為這場戲嗎？ ...因為這場戲啊！



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