113-part 02 (翻譯) - 六人行

※ 引述《samchiu (閒祭秋)》之銘言：

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
[場景：錢德與喬伊家，崔尼先生在講電話。]

Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you,
but it's getting real late now
該掛了。我也想你，我愛你，但現在真的有點晚了。

Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen,
I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me?
(To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(搶過電話) 嘿，媽，聽著，我跟巴吉達醫生預約了，然後...對不起？
(對他爸) 你知道這不是老媽嗎？

(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
(他爸點頭。切至不久後。喬伊在切磨菇)

Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
她叫做蘿妮。他是個寵物禮儀師。

Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
是啦。多久了你們... (又繼續切)

Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid,
I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
記得你還很小的時候，我都會帶你去海軍軍港讓你看大船嗎？

Joey: Since then?!
從那時候？！

Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years.
I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head
so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
不是，才六年而已啦。
我只是想要先讓你想些快樂的回憶
這樣你就知道我不是一直都是這麼糟糕的人。
...喬。你有戀愛過嗎？

Joey: ...I d'know.
...我不知道。

Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.
那你還沒有。你的番茄要燒焦了。

Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
不用你跟我講。 (把磨菇放進醬料鍋裡)

Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time.
And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
喬，你老爸深陷愛情了。
但其中最糟糕的就是，對象是兩個不同的女人。

Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
喔老兄。拜託告訴我其中一個是老媽。

Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.
廢話，當然有一個是你媽啊。你是有什麼毛病啊？

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone
about hid dad's affair.]
[場景：莫妮卡和瑞秋家，喬伊正在向大家訴苦，關於他爸的外遇。]

Joey: It's like if you woke up one day
and found out your dad was leading this double life.
He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A.
(Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
這就好像如果哪天你一覺醒來，然後發現你爸過著雙面生活。
他實際上是某種間諜，為中情局辦事。
(想了想) 那樣很酷...這個爛死了！

Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents?
(She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously
on her chest) Why do they have to become people?
Why do they have... (Notices Chandler)
Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
我知道，我是說，為什麼父母就不能只是父母？
(她走去錢德附近，而錢德目光顯然盯她的胸部)
他們為什麼要變成普通人？他們為什麼會... (注意到錢德)
為什麼你不能停止注視我的胸部啊？

Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
(沒有往上看) 什麼？ (往上看) 什麼？

Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?
你那天看的難道還不夠嗎？

Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here,
there's only one way to resolve this.
Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh,
you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
好啦，好啦。我們都是成年人了，
只有一個方法能解決這件事情。
既然你看到了她的咪咪，我覺得，呃，
你要給她看你的雞雞。

Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
知道嗎，我沒想到會變這樣？

Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
來啊，他說的對，以牙還牙。

Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
我才不要給你看我的"牙牙"咧。

(Door buzzer goes)
(門鈴響起)

Monica: Hello?
哈囉？

Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.
(對講機) 我是菲碧。

Roger: (Intercom) And Rog.
(對講機) 還有小羅。

Monica: C'mon up.
上來吧。

Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.
(諷刺的) 喔，好，小羅也來了。

Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
小羅有什麼問題嗎？

Ross: Yeah.
對啊。

Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
喔，沒什麼，只有點點小問題... 我討厭那傢伙。

Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know?
C'mon, he's not that bad.
什麼，他是有一點愛分析。那是他的工作啊，知道嗎？
拜託，他沒那麼糟啦。

(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
(跳到錢德、羅斯和羅傑坐在桌子旁。羅斯不爽。)

Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong.
Why would I marry her if I thought on any level that
that she was a lesbian?
看吧，這就是你搞錯的地方。
如果我在任何程度有想到她是女同志的話，我為什麼會娶她？

Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
我不知道。也許你就是想要讓婚姻失敗。

Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
為何？為什麼我為什麼？為什麼？為什麼？

Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem,
maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
我不知道。也許大概是自尊心不夠，
也可能是因為對造成手足沒有地位想要補償，也許你...

Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.
等等，等等，回到那個手足的論點。

Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable
that you wanted to sabotage your marriage
so that the sibling would feel less of a failure
in the eyes of the parents.
呃，我不知道。我是說，這是可以理解的，
你想要破壞你的婚姻，這樣一來手足就會覺得自己在父母眼中沒那麼失敗。

Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
那，那太荒謬了吧！我對她的失敗沒有罪惡感！

Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
喔！所以你覺得我很失敗囉！

Phoebe: Isn't he good?
他很厲害吧？

Ross: Nonono, that-that's not what I was saying...
不不不，那..那不是我的意思...

Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side.
But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad
so they'd keep liking you better!
知道嗎，這些年來，你以為你都站在我這邊。
但也許你真正做的，是一直拍爸跟媽馬屁，所以他們會一直比較喜歡你。

Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
嘿，我娶了一個女同志來提昇你的地位耶！

(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
(跳到不久後。瑞秋在掉淚。)

Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right!
It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace,
and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship.
Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
你說的對！我是說你說的對！
不只是因為威寶們，還有威寶的玩樂宮殿，還有還有威寶的遊輪。
喔，上面還有小小的救生艇，可以讓威寶們塞進去的。

Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs,
we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.
那很艱難。艱難的東西。來吧，菲碧，
我們還要趕去看那部電影，我們最好快走了。

Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?
喔，好的。振作點，瑞秋，好嗎？

Roger: Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie...
天啊，我們要遲到了，親愛的...

Phoebe: Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.
喔，好的。聽著，謝謝你的一切，莫。

Monica: You're welcome.
不用客氣。

Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again.
Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay?
Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
大家聽著，很高興再次見到你們。
莫，嗯，別執著那些餅乾好嗎？
要記得，它們只是食物，它們不是愛。

(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)
(他關上門，羅斯和莫妮卡把餅乾丟過去)

Monica: Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie)
討厭那傢伙！(又丟一塊餅乾)

[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving
Monica and Rachel's.]
[場景：走廊，錢德和喬伊正要離開莫妮卡和瑞秋家。]

Joey: Night, you guys.
晚安，大夥們。

(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
(他們注意到有個女人坐在他們的門旁邊)

Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
喔，看啊，那是我們點的女人耶。

Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
嘿。有，呃，有什麼要幫忙嗎？

Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
喔，不用了謝謝，我只是在等，呃，喬伊崔比昂尼。

Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
我就是喬伊崔比昂尼。

Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey.
Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures!
(Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
喔不，不是你，老喬伊。
喔天啊，你比照片上可愛太多了！
(喬伊瞪著她) 我..我是，我是蘿妮...來點起司條？

Chandler: Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?
呃，喬伊他卡住了，但是我要吃點起司條，好嗎？

Commercial Break
廣告破口

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