120-part 01 - 六人行

120 The One With the Evil Orthodontist -- PART 1

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]

Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that.
I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.

Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like,
thetoughest snack there is.

Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.

Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys!
You gotta come see this!
There's some creep out there with a telescope!

Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!

Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.

Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.

Phoebe: How can people do that?...
(All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.)
Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]

Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it
as one of the greatest first dates of all time.
It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves,
we didn't have to play any games...

Monica: So have you called her yet?

Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane?
(The girls make disgusted noises.)
It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem?
(To the guys) I'm right, right?

Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.

Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me
to find one of you people.

Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her!
Stop being so testosteroney!

Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.
(Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.

Joey: Her answer machine?

Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.

Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?

Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message
I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."

Monica: Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!

Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?

Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...

Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset?
Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?

Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!

Ross: What? What? What?!

Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon!
(Rachel enters.) Oh!

Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.

All: Oh!... Right!

Chandler: Hey Rach!

Monica: How'd it go?

Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great.
He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room,
and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it
and all the butter squirts out...

Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...

Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to,
but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...

Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him
to stop calling, stop sending you flowers
and to generally leave you alone, hmm?

Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that...
Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know?
It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!

Ross: That's, that's nice twice!

Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry
who you left at the altar?

Joey: Duh, where've you been?

Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today!
And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know?
I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?

(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)

Chandler: Yes!

Rachel: Why?

Chandler: I have my reasons.

Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman,
who just happens to be your ex-best friend?

Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right,
I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon,
and I will just put an end to it!

[Scene: Barry's Office, the post-coital Barry and Rachel
are recovering on the chair.]

Rachel: Wow... Wow!

Barry: Yeah.

Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.

Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.

Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]

Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle!
I wasn't expecting the machine...
Give me a call when you get a chance.
(Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!

Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!

Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!

Ross: What was with the dishes?

Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know?
I might have some kind of life,
like I haven't been sitting around here
honing for the past few hours.

Monica: (looking out the window) Look look!
He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!

Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.)
Stop looking in here!

Monica: Great, now he's waving back.

Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy.
This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment.
It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!

Monica: What kinda stuff?

Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff,
but, like, when I'm cooking naked.

Phoebe: You cook naked?

Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.

(A pause as they look at Chandler.)

Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.



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